Suicidal Thoughts...?!


Question:

Suicidal Thoughts...?

I can't take life anymore, I just want to end it right now.
I'm so depressed all the time, I hate myself, because i think I'm boring, have no talent, etc. i'm paranoid about every thing I do, in case I look bad in front of people.
I cut myself a couple of times back in March, and 3 months on those scars are still ******* there!
I'm going on holiday to Canada in 2 days, where my parents expect me to wear a t-shirt, therefore, I can't hide my scars. So I'll have 1 month of complete strangers staring at my arm.

I have absolutly no social skills whatsoever, I'm 17 and have no experience with dating, while practically all my friends do. When I get depressed, I don't want to talk much, but now I never say a word when I'm around my friends, because I'm also paranoid about saying something stupid. I can tell that they're getting bored of me never talking, and soon they won't want to be around me at all, but I cant help feeling so crap.

More details in a second.

Additional Details

3 weeks ago
And on top of that, there's the urge to start cutting again. Every hour of every day, I think about it. I NEED to start again, it's the only way I can feel better, by numbing all this pain.
Half the time my mind is telling me that there's no way out, and I should kill myself, and the rest ofthe time it's telling me that I'm an idiot, and a burden on everyone, so I should kill myself.
I just want my mind to shut up for a while.

My friends are probably sick ofme at this stage, I won't be able to make more friends, I can't cut myself, all I want to do is talk to a friend about this but I can't, The only way out is suicide, I know it.
A month ago, I knew for sure I had to do it, but now I'm confused, someone help!


Answers:

baby. as long as you have an outlet.. ea: yahoo answers.. and contacts.. that care about your well being.. you are never alone.
you know i never checked to see if you have a 360 page.. and let me tell you.. it is therapeutic.. when you get good mornings.. and how are yous .. and all that stuff.. it really makes you feel loved.
you get to know people and have fun with them. you should have real live friends but why not just have us for time being? you lean on me and I'll lean on you...

go to my 360 and add a few of my pals.. lady.. zingis.. all the top ones.. I'm sure they would be happy to have you.... and would brighten your day as they do mine.

don't cut anymore. please..
i know that what i said is only a temporary fix. and i am not pretending to be any kind of counselor.. however when i am down these friends of mine on 360 (whom i never met) pick me up..
let them try to do it for you.




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