Why am I still so angry?!


Question:

Why am I still so angry?

When I was 14, I was physically abused by my boyfriend. He was the first person I 'loved'. I have been to many psychologists from the time it happened up until about a year ago... I am now 21 and have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years. I have talked to him about my past and he knows everything. Even though he has said he would never hit me, there is still some weird type of doubt in the back of my mind. When he moves fast, i react.. when he looks at me a certain way, I get extremely defensive and down-right angry. I feel really bad that I am putting him through this but I don't want it to happen again and don't know what else to do... Any ideas...?


Answers:

First of all, don't listen to the second answerer, he is dumb. Second of all, I'm so sorry you went through this! It sounds like you are still dealing with the abuse and are not over it yet. And you sound like you are so afraid of it happenning again, so you are getting defensive against your current boyfriend. I am not trying to sound rude, but you are kind of being unfair to him. He is a totally different person than your other boyfriend, so there is no need to get defensive and I'm sure he loves you! Just explain to him that you are still having a hard time dealing with the abuse. I would also try talking to more therapists if you can, and also bring your boyfriend along if you want. Maybe that can help him to understand what you are going through. And I have never been abused physically, but I have dealt with other types of abuse and I know how you feel. But I got over it because I realized that it is in my past and I don't have to let it affect my present or my future. Not everyone is a nice person and sometimes bad things may happen to you, but you need to realize that you have to get over this and there are good people too (like your current boyfriend). And just because something bad happens, doesn't mean you should let it make your whole life bad, and it isn't your fault that this happened, it is your ex-boyfriend's fault and you shouldn't pay for it. So just try to let go and release your anger. This may sound dumb but you can try yoga, it helps you relax and release your anger. You can also try to write your feelings in a journal. I hope this helps and I hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend! =)




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