Depression: How to help someone?!


Question:

Depression: How to help someone?

My mother seems depressed. Here's our situation:
1. My dad has been living in another state to try out a job for a year now to be sure if we want to move with him. It's just been my mother and me, and we've grown stronger but my mom seems to be struggling everyday. I know it's hard, and it's hard for me too(I too feel depressed sometimes) and I try to be strong for my mom but it's hard. My mom has a terrible job, she says she feels fat(she's only a little overweight), and with my whole "difficult-ness" it all seems to weigh her down.
I'm hopeless. She's hopeless. And my dad doesn't do much to help us. All he can say is how he's doing fine(I think he says that to try to make us not miss him as much-to help us. It doesn't! It makes my mom feel worthless!)

Any advice, any anything, will help me so I can help my mom. Thank you.


Answers:

Poor you. It doesn't sound like either of you are having much fun. I think all three of you need to lay your cards on the table. Your Dad being away from the family home obviously isn't working, and this should be addressed in a positive and proactive way. Your Mum needs to speak to your Dad about the living arrangements - either he should come back to you, or you and your mum should move out to him.

In the meantime, try to get your Mum out of the house. Is there anything she would like to do? Shopping? Going to the cinema? A concert? A museum? Join a gym? Walk in the park? I know hanging out with your mum won't be the most exciting thing in the world, but it could do her good (also you never know, you might enjoy yourself too!)

Also, try to help your mum look round for a new job. If she is really unhappy then she should try and change jobs. You can help with this, looking in the papers or on the net, helping her choose an interview outfit or update her CV.

If you really think she has a case of clinical depression, suggest she goes to the doctor. Otherwise she could try self-help. She can take a course of Cognitive Beghavioural Therapy (a really good course for depression/anxiety) for free online at: http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/elear... Otherwise she can use the book by Dr Robert Burns, The Feeling Good Handbook. It’s brilliant and used by many psychologists.

Hope things work out well for you all.




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