I can't let go of my past and I need help because its ruining my relationship..?!

I can't let go of my past and I need help because its ruining my relationship..?

I have this thing where i cant trust any guys that come into my life because i'm afraid they will hurt me like every other guy in my past has, whether it be boyfriend, father, brother, cousin, it doesn't matter. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months, yet we argue because i cant trust him, and he has all his trust in me and he is always home, he's always with me, yet everytime he gets a text or a phone call or leaves the room, i think he;s doing something or talking to someone or cheating. I always feel that all men are out to hurt me, i can't even trust ,my dad because of how he has never been in my life and i watched my moms ex-husband beat her and come after me and lots of other memories that haunt me about men in my life.. im trying my best to let go of my past but i dont know how and im starting to loose my family, my boyfriend, everything that really matters to me.. i really need advice on how to cope with it... how to let my past not hurt me as much as it

Im sorry to hear this about your past....this can be serious, and the apst can sometimes be something hard to let go of...let me say something, you really cant go out in life being afraid all the time....we will all have our ups and downs....letting go of the past is just telling yourself "I cant change it, I can only learn from it" therefore take your previous situations and compare....yes I know sometimes your partner can make you worried or not make you trust them, but in the end if you cant have trust you cant have love, and this can hurt your relationships.... Everybodys different, the saying that "all guys/girls are the same is total BS"....everybody is different....what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, and the stronger you become the less pain you endure....Just take advice from your past faults....ask questions, not questions like "are you cheating on me" but questions to make you feel comfortable about being with him....questions that wont put him in an awkward position as well, this will cause arguments if you ask those "accusing" questions....DONT TAKE NO BS FROM ANYBODY, A SCREW UP LIKE CHEATING SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN...IF YOU CATCH HIM CHEATING, THEN DROP THAT RELATIONSHIP.....dont go looking for the cheating....the cheating WILL come to you and you will eventually find out on your own without trying.....TRUST ME.....

I hope I helped you at least a little bit....trust brings alotta relationships down....learn to trust, and just be strong.....its not hard....you'll learn from these experiences....and remember NO ACCUSING UNLESS YOU HAVE LIVING PROOF and then you wont have so many arguments.....Ive been through hell in back with relationships....good luck buddy!!!