How do you turn a life around??!

How do you turn a life around??

I am a woman who started life in such a pile of toxic mess that it seems like there is no OUT. I was molested, raped, abused physically, Mentally, Emotionally and well in all area's. Given up to foster care as a teen for having turned in my molester(my mothers husband). After having gone thru all that I have managed to get married to a good man in all area's except he has a Traumatic Brain injury. And have become the mother of a wonderful 4 year old boy who has ADHD and sensory deficiancy's.
With all this in my life and my past, I have just one question......
When the Hell is it going to be my turn for a little bit of peace, joy and happyness.?? That is that doesn't make me pay some insane kind of price for the happyness??????????? Please only answer this if your going to be helpful!!! Not an ***!

I can give you an answer. It is helpful and it is based on experience. You ask when it's going to be your turn for a "little bit of peace, joy, and happiness?"

I am also a survivor. I was not only physically abused by family and sexually molested and tortured by my grandfather, but I went through a lot of hell, especially with my first marriage. So I understand what it feels like to be traumatized by abuse. My solution was this and I discovered it after I met the love of my life and started getting some help. I had been seeing a psychiatrist and found that medications and doctors were helping little. That's because I was only treating part of the problem. I didn't really get better until I saw one of his collegues, who was a board certified psychologist. The psychologist showed me that I had to change the way I'm feeling by changing the way I'm thinking. And so I learned to do just that over a period of a year of intense therapy.

So many people answer questions such as yours by saying to "Think positive." Well, duh, if it was as simple as positive thinking, then you'd have done that by now. No, the thing to do, and it comes in steps, is to change the way you feel by changing the way you think. And one the ways is to stop perceiving yourself as a victim, and start thinking of yourself as a survivor. Yes, you went through hell, and I can relate to it. But it is over. But the fact is that you still think of yourself as a victim. Only when you start thinking of yourself as a survivor will things start to get better.

To start with, you are, in your own words, married to a good man and you have a four year old child. Start a gratitude list and put your husband at the top of that list. Two thoughts can't occupy the same space at the same time. I can't feel bad when I have a large gratitude list and I'm focusing on listening to beautiful music and two dogs that love me in the computer room. Friends who respect me and seek my counsel and a girlfriend of three-and-a-half years who loves me and who I love more now than on the day we met.

I am a survivor! I am not a victim! I created a positive attitude over time and that attitude brings people to me, which is what I've always wanted. So go into therapy and keep taking your medication. And read my Yahoo! 360 blogs and e-mail or IM me if you want to talk. I wish you the best and remember: You aren't alone and I've been there before to share with you my experience, strength, and hope!