How can you be honest, when..?!


Question:

How can you be honest, when..?

Hi,

I am currrently seeing my doctor weekly for depression amongst other things, we are trying to sort out meds and she wants me to see a psychiatrist...I know those of you who read this and who have never suffered probably already have labelled me as a nutcase, but it can happen to anyone, trust me( well maybe)..
anyway because i have been having suicidal thoughts and told my doctor my plan she was going to tell my parents, as my plan involved using something they owned...even though i am 20 years old. I am getting closer and closer to doing it and i don't know whether to say or not, i DONT want my parents knowing as it would make everything 50 million times worse (honestly) ....how can i be honest without getting my confidence broke and then feeling i have no where to turn??

please only understanding answers, hurtful answers help no one.
x

Additional Details

3 weeks ago
i must also say i see a counsellor and they are aware but it doesnt change the feelings


Answers:

Hi I think your doctor is legally obliged to help you not to hurt yourself, so I'm not too sure whether you can be truly honest without your confidence being broken.
I suffer with the same kind of issues in therapy. I don't want her to find out too much because it feels like I'll lose control and I already feel out of control so I don't like that. However, I can see that telling her is acutally having beneficial effects, since I can now get to the bottom of the feelings and work them out. Can I challenge you? I mean to be gentle. I just wonder whether asking this here is about saying that you don't really want to hurt yourself and you do want help, but that you are scared of what might happen if you ask for/take it? That must be an awful place to be and I do so feel for you. Of course you don't want your parents to know. Mine don't know about me. But, I have other people. I do hope you do too. I don't know you and I can empathise to some degree, but I will never know exactly what you're feeling and so cannot presume to give advice and certainly do not judge. However, I would like to say that I do not want you to hurt yourself and if that means you need to tell of your plans, then that is what I would like you to do. I just don't want you to hurt. Much love




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