I think I may have borderline personality disorder. My marriage is a mess. Is th!


Question:

I think I may have borderline personality disorder. My marriage is a mess. Is there any hope of saving it?

I have not been diagnosed yet or anything but the descriptions of this disorder fit me almost exactly. Especially feeling abandoned & unloved to an overwhelming degree because of minor things. I got it in my head that my husband didnt love me therefore I should not love him. So I treated him like dirt even though I still loved him to death. I made him so miserable that he left me & he says he needs time to think things through to decide if he will come back. I'm trying to get counseling but its not easy where I live. I guess I just need to know if I should even hold on to any hope that I can get treatment and save my marriage. My husband is a wonderful man who does not deserve the way I have treated him & what he has had to put up with from me.


Answers:

I have been a counselor for some years now and I say that you and your husband need your own individual counseling before you can get back together. He has wounds to heal as well as you and it is more difficult to sort that out when you are together. It's best to get your own individual counseling now for your sake and so that he can have his time to heal and not feel pressured to make everything work out. Don't pressure him for a reunification. Take time for yourself to heal and get better and in time he may be able to do the same for you.




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