I don't know what to do...?!

I don't know what to do...?

I have been manic / depressed for months now. Well more manic then cycling between manic / depressed for the last month. But the thing is, I have bloodletting as a way of punishing myself for all the pain I feel and put on my family...My doctor put me on zyprexa...I'm scared

3 weeks ago
What I have been doing is sticking a needle that they use to give shots to animals and letting the blood drain from my arm...And everytime I do feel bad I think about just leaving ti in my arm and hope to end it all...

zyprexa is a good drug for bi-polar disorder. you are also known as a cutter,this usually manifest itself as a form of self punishment for feelings of not being accepted.
Most cutters never go deep enough to cause any permanent damage but walk around with scars due to this activity.
You need to understand that you have a disease just like diabetes,cancer or heart disease and there is no reason to be ashamed of it. It is controllable with medication and you can live a happy and fulfilling life.
Being scared is a natural reaction. talk this over with your doctor or counselor.
If it makes you feel any better My daughter suffers from Bi-polar disorder and is also a cutter.And with medication she is now doing really good.