My mom's an alcholic, she won't admit it, but she's destroying her life, advice?!


Question:

My mom's an alcholic, she won't admit it, but she's destroying her life, advice?

My mom used to be an alcoholic but she stopped drinking after a long talk with my dad. Recently my parents got divorced and my mom started dating the first guy that gave her any attention. He's a major alcoholic too, and my mom started drinking with him. Now she's passed out from drinking before 8:00 each day.

I'm far enough away from it all (I'm in college 2000 miles away) for it to affect me directly, but my brothers are another story.

My mom is a wreck and we can't even talk to her about any of it for a fear that she might do something crazy. Her mother committed suicide and I'm very worried about depression leading to the same thing, her drinking, the sleeping medicine she takes when she doesn't pass out, and the man she's with. I'm not sure who to go to that can help her without pushing her over the edge. Its been a year and a half since my parents separation, but she's still just as hurt as the day they separated. What do I do?

Additional Details

3 weeks ago
My one brother is 22 and my younger brother is 17. My older brother has been in trouble with the law and with alcohol. My parents divorced after 25 years. At my dad's house, alcohol isn't a problem, but the mental strain on my brothers is the same or worse. My dad doesn't understand my brothers and he yells at them all the time. All I feel I can do from here is mediate everything.

My mom always feels like she's being attacked everytime we say anything, and there's no way that we can get this drunk out of her life. I'm afraid confronting her anymore will push her over the edge.


Answers:

Depending on how old your brothers are, they should look up "Alcoholics Anonymous" in the local phonebook and call the main number and find out where there are meetings for either Alanon [for family members of alkies] or Alateen [for younger family members of alkies] and go to meetings and listen up to people in the same boat. They will find great comfort and help from others who have been on the same road. The first thing they will learn is that an alcoholic has to get to the worst last moment [this is called "hitting bottom"] before they can get scared & crazy enuf to stop drinking and start going to AA meetings. It has to come from THEM, not from worried family members. Alanon and Alateen will help your brothers cope and give them tools to work with. Ditto for you, 2000 miles away and all--go to an Alanon meeting and find someone near your own age to talk with. Nothing lonelier in the whole world than the family of a drinking alky, and nobody needs friends more than those guys. Don't go it alone! If your mom dies of booze, you have to accept the fact that she chose to...help is out there for her, but she has to get to the point where she's got nothing left to do but reach out for it.




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