Why am I so screwed up?!

Why am I so screwed up?

I can't sleep. When I do sleep I don't sleep well. I have conversations in the shower with myself. I always talk to myself when I'm in my apartment. I think way too much. I have too many phobias. I have a lot of foibles and quirks and idiosyncracies. I can't stand modern society. I'm always contradicting myself. I can't trust a lot of people. I don't have a high opinion of other humans. I'm very alone. I haven't experienced any love, from family or another person. I have friends but I don't think they actually give a **** about what I say. I don't think anyone listens to me. You know? This is just the beginning of my problems.

I always think positive with this though. Because with all my foibles I use this for writing.

Seems to me you are not positive - seems that you are quite negative. You think only bad thoughts and hardly any good ones. You need to get in touch with a counselor / or a psychiatrist or something to get you out of the gloom and doom that you are holding yourself in. You say you have friends that is good...but you say that they do not care for you.
Please do yourself a favor, start with one issue and then go to the next...talk to someone, some one that can help you!!