Suicidal thoughts....what to do?!
Question:
Suicidal thoughts....what to do?
this morning i went for a walk to get away for a bit. i have been very upset and sad for about 7 or so months. i have had many ups and downs for 2 years, but recently has been the worst. i was sitting at the waterfall in the park and i kept on thinking if i should jump off. i nearly did it. the only thing that stopped me was that i would want to say things to my friends. like a suicide note. i have no idea what made me want to do it. i have thought about it before, but not this deep. the previous times was more like what would it be like after i did it. like would people miss me or regret the things they did. i am confused and dont know what to do. i am a minor and am not in any type of terapy or medication. i know you will say get therapy, i have tried and it made thigns worse. i am thinking about trying it again, but am not sure how to ask and what to say to my parents. if you think i should can you include what to say/write. thank you so much for your time.
Answers:
Well therapy would serve no purpose.
You answered your own question "like would people miss me or regret the things they did" - you want to be dead (but not - that way you can see if anyone mourns your passing; it's called insecurity) - of course your friends would miss you - that's why you are friends. It's a pity you can't talk to any of them about how you feel - if one of them came to you with the same thoughts would you laugh at them or be reassuring?
I'd take a guess that you would be supportive and hear them out. Compassion takes time to evolve in people, don't sell yourself short - sitting by a waterfall and thinking of jumping in; is pure romance; you sat by the waterfall because you like that spot and you can sit and think and the dull everydayness of life just washes away in to the background.
Life is an easy thing to become wary of, it has its up's and down's it can be cruel; it can be fun - keep being you, it'll pay off later (take it from someone that sat at different waterfall with similar thoughts many years ago) .
Enjoy yourself, it's the only way worth having,
cheers and good luck
Gray