How can I cope with dating with Bipolar II?!


Question:

How can I cope with dating with Bipolar II?

I'm concerned about entering into a dating relationship. I'm relatively new to my diagnosis and haven't explored the relationship effects very much yet. On one hand, I don't want the guy to know yet, but on the other I want him to know why sometimes I'm ready to get some stuff started, sometimes I'm totally despondent, and other times I'm unreasonably irritable. He hasn't seen these sides of me yet. When have you told a guy/girl about being Bipolar? What are some of the troubles you face from dating in this situation? How do you (and your SO) cope with some of those issues?

Thanks!

Additional Details

3 weeks ago
Perhaps I should add that I'm not medicated. The doctor tried it once and I had a very bad reaction to the meds. People in my family tend to be quite sensitive to medication (codiene, certain other pain meds, pseudophederine, etc... cause issues) so I'm hesitant to try again. I might give it a shot in the future, but only if they're extremely careful with what they prescribe. I'd rather not drop a few thousand bucks on a reaction to meds again if possible.

Anyway, that being said, I suppose I can always let him know (when/if the time is right) what I am doing about the disorder despite my lack of meds. (Besides, meds don't fix everything magically anyway.)

2 weeks ago
I control my Bipolar II pretty well. I try very hard to remain conscious of the fact that sometimes my mind and heart don't always tell me full truths. If anything I tend to be people-pleasing because I'm trying so hard not to be a witch. I'm also very careful concerning my affections.

As for the guy I'm currently dating, we haven't even kissed yet. We are not serious, but before I let him kiss me we will at least talk about part of the potential issues. I'm not trying to be "selfish" so please don't go trying to put that on me, okay? What I'm looking for is a way for me to cope with the emotions (serious dating is unchartered territory for me, and I've heard that BP2 can make it harder) AND ways to talk about this with him. I don't want to throw it all at him at once, but I don't want to minimize it either. I also don't want him to think that every mood I have is from the disorder. I'm just learning about the disorder myself, having been diagnosed only relatively recently.


Answers:

First I have to applaud your decision not to take medicine. There are many treatments available out there that don't mask the problem but make you deal with it head on. Medication is often only a quick fix that doesn't deal with the underlining issues.
About dating with a mental illness, well he does have a right to know, but you have to follow your gut on this one. Only you will truely know the right time to tell him.
Saying it up front can scare him away, but if he sticks around that says alot about the type of guy he is. But if he is a good guy that doesn't know much about the disease he may get scared off and you may lose a great guy, so waiting it out could also be the best solution.
Again it is up to you to choose the best time to tell him. But tell him you must.
I wish you the best with your illness and always know that you are not alone and there are many support groups who can help you further with this problem from a personal stand point.




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