Do I need help?!

Do I need help?

I have just turned 16 years old. My Father left when i was 4, but I saw him at weekends. He used to put me down a lot and call me names, and his step-daughter who was 16 would beat me up and call me names also. He then stopped his visits when I was 13, and blamed it on me. I have a very low self esteem and believe everything that happens to me is my own fault. I self harm. I sit on my own in my room every day when I finish school until I go to bed. I know I sound really sad and pathetic but I really feel so alone at times, even though I have a few friends which I go out with sometimes. I had a best friend and she meant the world to me, but she stopped being a friend because her boyfriend didn't like me. I have nobody now except my family, but they don't even talk to me much. Sometimes I just wish I could die. I think people are talking about me all the time and think everyone is watching me. Im very nervous and I am so useless. I only have my online friends that care, my real ones dont

I think you are courageous for being so open. I also think you know you could benefit from talking to a counselor who can help you sort through all the garbage your dad fed you. That he didn't make you feel good about yourself and allowed his step-daughter to hurt you should say something about what kind of person he is. That is no reflection on the type of person you are now or will be in the future. Remember one thing. He is not a person who you would want to look up to. You already know that. So since he has such a low rating he should not be a persons whose opinion matters a whole lot to you. I myself take pride in knowing scum bags do not like me. It means we don't think alike and that should be a relief. See if there an area where you can do some volunteer work in your community. In helping others we see just how valuable we are.