I can’t seem to do anything right. I have a tendency not to pay attention to all!


Question:

I can’t seem to do anything right. I have a tendency not to pay attention to all the details?

As a result I don’t put my heart into most things and end up not doing as well as I could. I also end up taking more time to complete relatively simple tasks because by taking 'shortcuts' I have only made things more difficult. It is not that I am incapable of achieving certain levels of success. In fact I have had my IQ tested professionally and it scores as highly above average at 140. However socially I feel very much like an outsider, I spend vast amounts of time alone and don’t really have an outlet with people who seem to share my interests so part of my brain is actively overcompensating for this. Yet ironically if I am doing something that will benefit another person it is the opposite, I tend to excel at tasks and pay great attention to detail when the end reward will be bestowed upon someone other than me. I don’t think very much of myself at a very deep level. This has come out in my writing before. What I want to know is, how can I get myself to care and try harder at tasks?

Additional Details

4 weeks ago
I am reading up on ADHD. I am not quite sure if this is what I have (although some of the symptoms do correlate to me i.e. excessive talking) because I was able to achieve honours academically in various advanced programs during a time when I had become very motivated. I have been depressed for a while though. My lack of attention to detail is almost induced. For example, if I have an important job interview or exam I will find excuses to stay up till 4am and I will not eat any breakfast that morning and as a result I will perform poorly. The pay off perhaps is that I can continue to remain in isolation and in slight depression?


Answers:

This is a case of you are too smart combined with being too hard on yourself with a little self sabotage. What seems like you don't care is that the task at hand is too mundane and you are not very interested in it.The fact that you are more interested in helping someone means you are a good caring person and you see the positive results making it more satisfying. You probably are staying up too late and not eating because these are a sure way to make yourself fail and your are self sabotaging, are you afraid of success? Or after doing this type of behavior has lowered your confidence so you are afraid of failing which will make you fail.

Your question sounds like one that I have asked because I have done the exact thing you are. I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I believe that it is often mistaken for intelligence. You should find a line of work that interests you and stimulates you intellectually. I have always had very few friends, because I have trouble relating to people and often confuse people with thing that I say. I think you are pretty normal for someone of your intelligence, and if you stop trying /thinking too much you will have an easier time fitting in.




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