Scared? Please give advice.?!

Scared? Please give advice.?

I feel like I'm always scared of the stupidest things...I always get scared that someone is in my room at night, or under my bed, or that there is someone in my house that is going to hurt me. I am not 12 years old either, I am 19 years old and I know that I shouldn't be having these fears. My boyfriend is also in the fire academy training to be a firefighter and I'm always so scared that something will happen to him when he's a firefighter and he'll be killed, or severely injured. I don't want to get on any medicine besides natural medications because I know how addicting all that stuff can be, and also bad for your health. I want to know if anyone else is experiencing this, and what they are doing about it, or what their suggestions are. Serious advice is welcome. Thankyou.

Fears will always be part of your life ... so you shouldn't feel like you shouldn't have them. It's natural to feel them. However, you have to be consciously aware of yourself when you feel them and recognize that it should not control you.

Step 1:
What I've found to work is controlling my breathing to help relax when the feeling comes. Learning how to do meditative breathing helps. When you get afraid, your breathing becomes short and quick; this breathing pattern encourages your anxiety to get worse. So taking long deep breaths helps the physical response. "Relaxation is incompatible with feeling fearful or having anxiety, so it is said that the relaxation response counters the fear response."

Step 2:
Next is the psychological. Since most of your fears sound like it's all in your mind (most fears are), you can work against it by doing certain mental exercises, such as:

- Do random acts of courage everyday. Even the smallest act of courage, like approaching a stranger and starting a conversation will get your mental state prepared for facing some small fears. Eventually, your body will be conditioned better to face fears also. This will make you a stronger person overall - and more confident. The more confident you feel about yourself, the more well-being you will feel ... and the less fearful you will feel.

- Figure out how certain fears can be funny. Humor and fear cannot exist at the same time. If you laugh at the things you fear, you will no longer fear them. For example, in your fear of someone in your house that is going to hurt you ... think of someone that makes you laugh, would never hurt you, and puts you at ease ... like Will Smith! Every time you're imagining someone inside your house, imagine Will Smith in a pink apron making brownies. Be creative and focus on how the image makes you feel. Remember, breathe! It may not work right away, but with practice ... you should get over your fears in a matter of weeks.

You can find more about overcoming your anxieties using these methods from:
1. A psychiatrist - they can provide you professional advice for non-medication alternatives (you don't need to resort to this unless it absolutely overcomes your normal daily life)

2. Some self-help books at your local book store. Look up stuff on NLP (neural linguistic programming, ie. talking yourself through), anxieties, fears, OCD, meditation, yoga. There are exercises like the ones I've mentioned that can help you "come to terms" with what you feel.