I lied and caused a lot of trouble.... and I don't know WHY.?!

I lied and caused a lot of trouble.... and I don't know WHY.?

I went to party with my boyfriend (whom I live with and we both have kids). I came home and stupidly drank more alcohol (I probably had 15+ drinks). My boyfriend was asleep and I tried to wake him up for sex. When he wouldn't wake I became very violent, to the point of grabbing a knife & screaming at him. When he took the knife from me, I got cut (I fell when he was trying to grab it.) I went to the hospital & told the nurse my boyfriend stabbed me. They called the police & I told them a TOTALLY fabricated story of hitting, choking & stabbing from my boyfriend. I also told him I was really drunk. In the end he was arrested & could go to prison. I have NO idea why I made up such a horrible lie about a man that I love. He's never hurt me, never lost his temper. I'm seeing a therapist, who says that year of previous domestic abuse & my depression are to blame. Has anyone seen or heard anything like this? Any advice for me? I'm dying from guilt and feel worthless.

4 weeks ago
I have told the police I lied. They think I'm just being a typical victim who's afraid of retaliation. The state is pressing charges. I'm seeing a judge Monday to tell them I lied to see if they will drop the charges and I will probably be charged with making a false police report if not more. I'll face my music, I just don't know WHY I would do this.... and yes, our kids are the victim of my wrong-doing too. I can't explain how low I feel. My psychologist (whom I just started seeing after this happened) thinks it's post traumatic stress disorder, as I was abused in my previous marriage... I'm very ashamed and will do the right thing... I just don't know HOW and WHY I did this. Of course, I'm done drinking.

I'll refrain from telling you what you are (I think you know).

You need to step up to the plate and do what's right. Tell the police you lied.