All I want to do is kill myself, how can i be happy again?!

All I want to do is kill myself, how can i be happy again?

I'm so ashamed of my behaviour and actions, everyone hates me, i'm no fun to be around, i have no nice clothes, no job prospects, i have completely screwed up everything good in my life and had so many plans, i have no idea how to change what i have done in the last 6 months, i cant and i really just want ot kill myself. The only reason i'm not is because i know how much it hurts people, but i cant see myself ever being normal again........i am seeing a counsellor and taking meds and none of that is helping too much, i just cant see myself ever getting better, and i could have done so much with my life and had great friends and people, i'm an absolute crazy freak have you been like this and changed it?

ok if i were you, i would go to a strip club or someting to be pleasured.... that would make any guy i know happy
if you dont want to do that, then this is a serious problem and you need to see someone to help you