Depression?!

Depression?

Hey! I just want some advice, I am 14.

My parents are telling me they hate me, they have been looking into ways to get rid of me. Apparently Im miserable to be with and I cant go on vacation with them. I get to stay home. Yay. Thats great I miss going on vacation the one time I actually want to go.

They HATE me with a passion. And I have my two (possible rapist) friends to rely on. Internet friends. Thats it. I ahve no one else to talk to or ask for help, cept here. I just want advice on what I should do. I looked into just leaving but I really want to continue going to school so I can't leave.

I have been within inches of suicide (More than once) to be against my will dragged back by one of fore-mentioned online friends.

Those suicidal hotlines threatened to call the cops so **** em.

What should I do? I dont wanna see a psychiatrist so I cant get meds (Im to embarassed to ask to go to one.) Smoking, and pot dont do **** any more and my parents notice scars so Im stuck.Any help?

4 weeks ago
I dont drink... makes me sick. Ive tried everything out there I can afford on what Im making on my job. Which is absolutely nothing. I volunteer at an animal hospital. They are on of the few things keeping me alive. I really am an asshole so my parents have a good reason to hate me.

I called the hotline because I promised someone I would... i ddint want to. Umm... Yeah. Hehe.

Oh hon I feel for you.Wow parents should never say that that's just horrible. I've been suffering from depression for 9 ys {ever since my brother died} and I was suicidal 4 yrs ago even a cutter. This is no way to live don't be embarrassed to seek help it didn't help me but maybe going to a psychiatrist and getting med's will help you. Never be embarrassed to better yourself be embarrass to harm yourself. I can't believe the suicidal hotlines would threaten to call the cops. then again they probable have too. DJ