Lately I've been so angry, depressed, and all around psychotic?!

Lately I've been so angry, depressed, and all around psychotic?

I am seriously not in good mental health at the moment. I know this without anyone telling me. But I have no idea what to do. I haven't been to see any specialists and my mother thinks I'm exaggerating and she is constantly yelling at me, and she is making it so much worse. I want to hurt her and everyone else I know just to see what it'd be like. I really don't care about much, I want to get fired just to mess up my life that much more. Its like I have some sort of duality though, I know I shouldn't but its like I have no control over my thoughts or feelings, I just want to see it all at the bottom of a river or engulfed in flames. I sit around waiting to die... wanting it really. But at the same time all of these thoughts are racing through my head and I can't get it clear. At one point I drank almost everyday for three months but I lost all interest in that, now all of my outlets seem like prisons. I think I'm tired of fighting off insanity and that I should just give in to it.

4 weeks ago
I'm an adult, haven't been in my teens in years.

I was much worse then, I actually acted on my compulses. Now I don't and it causes me physical pain.

If by drank you mean alcohol, try the program found at Radiant Recovery
http://www.radiantrecovery.com/...