My elder sister interferes my life all the time.Does she has a Psychological Pro!


Question:

My elder sister interferes my life all the time.Does she has a Psychological Problem?

My sister lives with her 3 children and husband about 3 miles away. The problem is, she criticizes me all the time.Anything I buy, she gives comments by saying, "you really did not need this". or she would say, "you could have saved this money for something else" or "you could have bought an used item instead of buying a new one". Also, if something breaks or wont work, she would say, "you could have taken an advice from me before buying it" or she would say, " I already knew it would happen", or she would say, "see I told you".

Other problem is, she would say anything to you, but if you saying a word in response, she would try to dig the dirt out from your childhood diseases even and she would call me by the names& makes me feel guilty about my past.

I never ever say even a word what she buys or what she does with her life even she is a big spender herslef. I even dont owe her a penny but her behaviour kills me.I told her to leave me alone.

What is wrong wth her?

Additional Details

4 weeks ago
Thanks for the great answers.
By the way, essiekatsopolous, I dont live with my sister and I give her full freedom to live her own life.
A note for essiekatsopolous, give productive suggestions like other users.


Answers:

Hello, I think, your sister has a controlling and dominating personality, I have found some great information for your consideration:
How to Cope With a Controlling Person
It is not easy to deal with or cope with a controlling person. And it is, especially, not easy to cope with it being someone that you care about. Nevertheless, a person should not be blinded, due to love. No one deserves or wants to be controlled. If they do, they may have issues that they need to deal with. In life you'll come across quite a few controlling people. However, try hard not to let that stop you from carrying on and just being yourself. Let people see you for who you are on the inside, more so than who you are on the outside. Maybe this article will help others to cope with controlling people. There are a lot of them out there. And although nobody has all the answers on how to deal with them, some people have managed to cope with the ones that they have run across.

Steps First of all, you must recognize that you are dealing with a controlling person in order to combat their position.
Next, you need to stand firm on the fact that you are not going to be controlled.
Now, in a relationship or marriage you have to work together. That does not mean that either person is lord and master, nor should either of you want to be. It doesn't help in building a strong relationship.
Try pointing out to the controlling person that their ways are stressing you out or making you feel uncomfortable.
Let them know that you don't need another parent, that you have parents already.
Stand firm on the fact that you are not a child, and that being grown is what adulthood is all about.
Be sure to have a strong mind so their problem doesn't become yours.
Realize that you are not the one with the problem, you are making an effort to communicate you feelings in the hopes of facilitating a response in your favor.
Do the things that you enjoy in spite of someone else that may wish to control you.
Spend as much time as you can away from controlling people, for you'll need that break.
If you already have plans, don't let someone else cause you to break them.
Pat yourself on the back by letting a controlling person know about the good decisions that you make for yourself.
The old term "oh really" works well when someone else is trying to control the conversation. It beats stressing out. If that one doesn't work, try the old "whatever" phrase, smile, and leave the room. Leaving the room gets a controlling person every time, as they like to keep things going.



Tips: Don't let someone else tell you how to manage or spend your own money, unless you have hired someone to manage it. However, in a marriage money is always a topic for discussion.
Don't let someone else live your life for you, manage it yourself.
Don't allow anyone to talk down to you, for it is degrading and a form of mind control.
Leave your mate a simple note on your whereabouts, but don't act like you have to punch in on a time clock.
Stay focused on positive things, for it will help you cope.



Not everyone can cope with certain types of people. So use your own judgement on the course of action that you should take.




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