How do I stop myself from losing the plot?!

How do I stop myself from losing the plot?

I'm a stay at home mum. My son is at school during the day, so that just leaves me and my baby. She is total magic and I am not suffering from post natal depression. My partner works long hours in a mentally straining job, so when he gets home, he is too tired to talk with me. We talk about mundane day to day stuff, but when it comes to an actual conversation, it is sadly lacking. I love my partner, but I am so lonely and desperately craving intellectual stimulus. I don't feel like a woman anymore, just a mum and a partner. I am finding that I am eating myself into a big black hole every evening to try and fill the emotional void. I have applied for several jobs, but it is very difficult, as I am only available when my partner is home because our daughter has a medical condition that prevents her from going to childcare. How do I get some excitement back into my life?

Your problem is more common than you think. The very things that brought you two together have taken a back seat to life and that can be a very lonely place to be. Fortunately (or unfortunately), the solution lies with the both of you as a couple. My girlfriend and I have been dating for three-and-a-half years long term and we maintain a joint trailer, joint dogs, and a joint car, but mostly separate bank accounts. So there was a time when I honestly thought about leaving because my needs (emotion as well as physical) weren't being met.

That's when I found out that the two of us can recreate our relationship and that is just what we have done. The most important thing that we did was to express our needs to one another expecting them to be met. Neither of our suggestions was met with anger, which was one of the ground rules, and we listened and then talked back what we thought the other had said. Now, we both have a responsibility for making the relationship work. But we both found out that it only takes one to make a relationship better. You wrote a heartfelt letter in Y/A. Have you ever thought of writing your husband a loving e-mail or a pillow on the bed? And I would tell your husband something similar. Would he be willing to put aside at least ten minutes when he gets home to put his arms around you, say I Love You, and vow to listen to what you have to say for at least ten minutes?

See, I have discovered in my own relationship that infatuation is an emotion, but love is an action. My sweetheart and I make a concious choice to ask ourselves, "What can I do to make him (her) happy today?" rather than, "What can I do to get out of the relationship today for myself?" And if you crave intellectual stimulation, you and your husband can always e-mail or IM and I'll talk to either of you. I have a scientific background and love to talk to others.

I wish the both of you the best in your love for one another.