Please Read And Advice Me.?!

Please Read And Advice Me.?

For a while, expecially since i have split up with ex, which was a very emotional and abusive relationship, I have lost ALL motivation. I don't know whether its depression or what, but i feel like im only just hanging on. I sleep late about 2am, then stay in bed till noon the next day. All my acheivements which i set myself, i quickly fail to stick at. I quit college completely, so im left with no qualifications and a part time job. I dont know where i am going in life, and im not rushing myself to get any sort of qualifications to even try to persue in a succesfull career.Every morning i wake up, i try my best to fall back to sleep so my day will pass quicker. Im trying to keep a possitive out look on things. But everything is blank and hidden from my sight or mind. Im lonely, I have nobody to talk to about my feelings, so im holding it all in. My brother has made my parents proud, and what have i done? Nothing at all. Nothing. The other day i was sat with my parents watching a talent show, when a little girl came on stage singing.. when my dad turned and said '' Why can't i have a talented daughter''. He probaply meant it as a joke, but it tore me apart and hurt me more than i was already hurting.I used to be happy with my self, and now, i am filled with self hatred. I despise the way i look, i despise my wieght, and my personality. I make people laugh, and i care about others more than myself, i want to make them happy, because i can't make myself happy. My parents arn't there for me emotionally, and im left living on pretending everythings fine, and they watch, believing thats how it is.

I have become envious of people, I see people passing exams, and doing things which take effort, the thought of putting effort into anything in life exhausts me. I lounge around the house watching television, that being the highlight of my day.

I can't pull myself out of this state no more. Its 1.02am, and im still awake, Im completley exhausted and emotionally dazed.

Im so scared of everything, im scared of staying like this all my life. I hate who i am, yet i have no energy to change things.

Yes, I do believe you are depressed. And it seems at this point you may not be able to pull out of it without medication. Please see your family doctor and go on an anti-depressant. The unfortunate things about anti-depressants is there are side effects - and sometimes much trial and error before you find the one that will work for you. So if one doesn't work for you - be persistent and ask to change to another. And they take some time to kick in. If you can't get yourself to a doctor - please have a friend take you. If you feel you have no one - look up your local crisis intervention center and they will help you. I know what it is to be under that cloud - and I do feel for you. It CAN be better - but it's not just "a matter of time" at this point. I believe you need some medicine. You'll feel quicker results if you also do the following: 1) go on a regular sleep schedule - making sure you're getting what you require each night (neither too little or too much) 2) make yourself eat - healthy - even if you don't feel like eating. Don't just eat junk food - you need good nutrition to pull out of this quicker! 3) Buy some good multi-vitamins and make yourself take them daily - even if you don't want to. 4) take a shower and dress comfortably but presentable as soon as you start your day - this will help fight off the urge to lay around in sweats and slippers hoping to fall back asleep each morning. These four little things will help. But in order to get your brain back on track again - you just may need anti-depressants at this point. Please see a doctor.