How have you coped will the loss of a loved one?!


Question:

How have you coped will the loss of a loved one?

lost my mom 3 weeks ago and finding it really hard.


Answers:

I lost my mother 3 years ago and it still feels like yesterday.
At the beginning I just felt numb and like I couldn't cry anymore. I did my best to keep busy with all the things I had to do after the funeral and then tried to get on with my life. I had a hard time sleeping. I would forget that my mom wasn't alive and I would see something she would enjoy or want to ask her a question and I remembered she had passed away. I spent a lot of time at the cemetery alone, sitting next to her grave, talking. It helped me little by little to move on.

Your grief is so fresh. Don't expect it to feel better overnight. I think a part of you will always feel deeply that loss. I have learned to laugh again, to enjoy things I used to, to enjoy my family and friends and do things without thinking about her with pain.

Yesterday I found a box with her clothes, and I cried. I haven't had the heart to move things around in her house or throw away/donate her clothes. I live in her house now and this past week I have finally let myself move things around and make them more "me". It's ok to mourn.

Don't expect to have a specific mourning period. People mourn differently and for different amounts of time. My oldest sister cried and cried. I tried to do things to honor her memory. My middle sister shut herself in at home with her family and wouldn't talk to any of us much for a while. Be patient with yourself and with your family.

I miss my mom so much. I probably always will, but I know she would want me to get on with life and be happy. I know your mom would probably want that for you, too.

Most of all, hang in there. It'll get better. The sun will start to peek through the clouds. You'll have your good days and your bad days, but ultimately, the good days will win out. My deepest condolences, from someone who has been there.

If you ever want to talk or chat or send an email to the void, email me at eternallycharmed@yahoo.com




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