Am I killing my self respect by choseing to remain in a relationship with a poss!

Am I killing my self respect by choseing to remain in a relationship with a possible Pathological liar?

I AM A 35 YR O GENTLEMAN AND I HAVE BEEN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR 5&HALF YRS. IN 2003, SHE HAD AN AFFAIR WHILE I DID 4 MONTH'S IN LOCK UP FOR A CHARGE THAT WAS ORIG. FOR HER! BEING THE MAN I AM AND THINKING HOW HER CHILDREN NEEDED HER AT HOME, I LIED TO THE JUDGE BY TESTIFING THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED TO BE CHARGED...YEA, I TOOK A CHARGE FOR HER, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN A BULLET FOR HER AS I LOVED HER VERY DEEPLY (IT WAS A MONTH BEFOR OUR 2 YR ANNIV, AND JUST 3 MONTHS AFTER I MADE HER THE VERY FIRST FEMALE TO SHARE W/ VIVID DETAIL , THE RAPES AND ABUSES DONE TO ME FROM AGE 7 TO AGE 10 BY MY MOTHERS B/F, NOT EVEN MY MOM & DAD KNEW ABOUT THIS. ANYWAY....I HAVE SPENT 3.5 YRS TRYING TO HEAL FROM THIS. BEING A COMPASSIONATE MAN AND FOLLOWING MY HEART, I DID NOT BREAK-UP BECAUSE SHE WAS SO VISUALY UPSET WITH HERSELF AND NEEDED INPATIENT THERAPY, LOVING SOMEONE LIKE THAT AND NOT WANTING TO SEE HER GO THROUGH THAT BY HERSELF, I CHOSE FORGIVENESS AND PROMISED TO TRY TO NOT GET UPSET AND USE IT AGAINST HER. I DID NOT CHEAT ON HER....EVER. WELL SHE HAS MADE A VALIENT EFFORT TO ENSURE THAT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO TRUST. YOU WOULD THINK THAT SHE WOULD DO EVERY AND ANY THING TO MAKE ME FEEL SECURE. SOME DAYS R GOOD, SOME DAYS ARE BAD. SHE REFUSES TO TREAT ME THE WAY I WANT 2 BE TREATED AS SHE LIES ABOUT ANYTHING, DOESNT RESPECT MY WISH'S, OR TAKE MY ADVICE, SUCH AS..........NOW YOU YOUNGER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE, PLEASE LISTEN, SAVE YOURSELF FROM EMOTIONAL PAIN, OR CHRONIC DEPRESSION, OR A TRULLY BROKEN HEART.....IF YOU ARE BLESSED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH THAT "LOOK" IN THERE EYE AND YOU FEEL YOU WANT TO SHARE A LIFE TOGETHER..DO JUST THAT!!!!.......SHARE & COMMIT TO 3 THINGS. 1. UNLESS YOU BOTH AGREE TO SOMETHING ELSE, DO NOT CHEAT!!! 2. DO NOT LIE!!! AND 3. COMMUNCATE AND SHARE WITH EACH OTHER!!!....#3 IS POSSIBLY THE MOST IMPORTANT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMMUNICATION, UNTIL ITS TO LATE, MEANING THAT THERE COULD BE RESENTMENTS ALREADY PLANTED IN THE MIND WAITING FOR ITS MANY DIVERSE SPROUTS OF PRIDE, IRRATTIONAL THINKING, REVENGE AND MORE!! NOW THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THERE WONT BE TIMES AWAY FROM YOUR "FAIRY TALE", BUT IF YOU BOTH COMMIT TO THESE THINGS WITH CONSISTENCY AND REALIZE WE ALL HAVE PRIDE AND HABITS, AND THAT WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF PAITIENCE AND CHANGE, I PROMISE YOU THAT, WHAT YOU MAY HAVE CALLED FIGHTING IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. YOU WILL NOW KNOW IT AS RATIONAL PROBLEM SOLVING THAT, IN TIME WILL SHOW YOU A QUALITY OF LIFE THAT WILL INTRODUCE YOU TO TRUE FRIENDSHIP, WHAT IT MEANS TO CARE, AND POSSIBLY YOUR FIRST LOVE.
UNFORTUNATLY DECEIT WAS PERMITTED TO BREECH MY RELATIONSHIP, AND IT WAS NOT DEALT WITH PROPERLY. ITS NOT A TOTAL LOSE THOUGH AS I HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT MYSELF IN THE LAST 5.5 YRS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN I EVER HAD BEING INVOLVED IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS. I CAN SAY TODAY THAT I AM HONEST AND REALIZE HOW DISHONEST I WAS B4. I HAVE COME TO KNOW THE TRUE VALUE OF COMMPASSION, AND HAVE MOST CERTAINLY RECEIVED A MASTERS IN PAITIENCE AS I HAVE EXPRESSED TO MY GIRLFRIEND HOW MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HER FEEL THE WAY I DO. HER CHOICE TO STILL BE DISHONEST SOMETIMES IS MET WITH MIXED EMOTIONS ON MY PART. I KNOW SHE IS TRYING BUT ITS STILL HER FEAR OF ME VIEWING HER AS A FAILURE THAT ELICITS HER CONDITIONED RESPONSE, TO LIE OR TO GIVE ME PARTIAL TRUTHS, THAT I VIEW AS HER EFFORTS TO MINIMIZIE THE HURT. I HAVE TOLD HER SO MANY TIMES I WOULD RATHER BE HURT WITH THE TRUTH THAN TO BE PLEASED WITH A LIE. I KNOW SHE HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP, BUT ITS IDENTIFYING HER LIMITATIONS SHE HAS PROBLEMS WITH.
I HAVE EXPRESSED FEAR THAT SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME, OF JUST BEING HER FOOL, BUT IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. WE ARE VERY CLOSE AND I DO CONSIDER HER MY FIRST LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND. I MEANT TO PAINT A PICTURE OF A PERSONALITY THAT IS NEVER SHOWN WHEN INTIMANT WITH ME. HER LIES (95% OF THE TIME) ARE OF ISSUES THAT WOULD NEVER BE A SINGLE CAUSE FOR SPLITTING UP. TO ME, IT IS A COMPULSION TO NOT LETTING ME DOWN BY REVELATION OF HER INIQUITIES.
TO HER ALIANCE I HAVE RESEARCHED A POSSIBILITY THAT THERE MAY BE A PATHOLOGICAL CONDITION THAT COULD RENDER LITTLE CONTROL OF HER RESPONSE STEMMING FROM AN AUTO ACCIDENT IN HER ADOLESCENCE IN WHICH SHE SUSTAINED MASSIVE HEAD TRAUMA, LEAVING HER IN A COMA AND ALMOST KILLING HER. IM OPTOMISTIC THAT WE CAN FIND HELP, BUT I AM NOT NIEVE TO MY BEING IN DENIAL AND SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BAREL FOR EXCUSES TO CONTINUE ALOWING THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE TO BE COMPROMISED BY SOMEONE WHO MAY BE AFRAID TO TELL ME GOOD-BYE. REMEMBER, HER M.O. WAS ALWAYS TO NOT HURT ME, SO SAYING GOOD-BYE MAY BE THE UNTOLD TRUTH.
SAYING GOOD-BYE TO THE ONLY WOMAN IVE LOVED IN AN EFFORT TO RAISE MY QUALITY OF LIFE, NOT OUT OF ANGER, NOT BECAUSE I LOST PAITIENCE, BUT SO THAT IN LETTING GO, I CAN KNOW THAT RESENTMENTS OVER THIS WILL NEVER REPLACE THE WONDERFUL FEELING OF AN UNBROKEN LOVE...THAT IS KEPT IN MY HEART!!!!

WITH THE CHAOS IN OUR WORLD TODAY........ITS REALLY NICE WHEN YOU CAN CURL UP NEXT TO THE PERSON YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU

"LIFE AINT ALWAYS BEAUTIFULL.......................

................BUT IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL RIDE"
-GARY ALLEN-

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO RESPOND WITH ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS TO MNM01312002@YAHOO.COM

I suggest you both go for counseling and end your relationship. You have a foundation of lies and cheating. Once a cheat and a liar, always a cheat and liar unless she completely changes her ways. Forgiveness and kindness won't change her. If you don't separate you'll never know the love of an honest woman. If you can't go to counseling, I suggest prayer to God that He bless you with the courage to make the right decision and go on with your life. Good Luck!