What can you do if you feel angry and bitter about the way your lifes gone,the f!

What can you do if you feel angry and bitter about the way your lifes gone,the fact you never had a girlfriend

, the fact im 30 and physically ageing prematurley in the face, the fact ive had psychological problems since 15, that have impaired my ability to live my life and achieve things, like employment, relashionships. the fact i cant bear to see other people happy or smiling, because ive missed out on that, the fact i have bpd disorder...
i feel very angry and unforgiving about this....ive never had my needs met, endured a life time of mental pain, and trauma,
and i feel like ''battering'' something..
the fact theres no guarentee that im going to achieve my goals and ambitions in life.....of relocating from the uk, finding that girl and partner, of achieving happiness and security............
theres no guarentee its going to come, and i have to live out my existence in a one bedroom flat, waiting for therapy

1 month ago
just want to thankyou for all your wonderfull answeres, i will be unable to choose a best answer, as there were alot of great answers, thankyou again so much to all of you

I'm 44 and have often felt as you feel. My motto has always been, that no matter what, I never stop trying for a better life. Even if I never achieve all my goals, and I live my life largely alone - because it's hard to find a mate when you have all these emotional struggles. I must never stop trying. If I live to be an old man and I look back at my trials and struggles, if nothing else, I need to be able to say that I never stopped trying to make a better life for myself - that I sought out whatever help was out there.
And you know what? It hasn't been ALL bad. Hang in there, my friend. At the very least, at the bare minimum - you seem to have a keen awareness of where you are at, that's actually a good place to start.