What can you do if you struggle with your sense of self identity? i have bpd, iv!
Question:
What can you do if you struggle with your sense of self identity? i have bpd, ive been through alot of trauma?
and pain, and i get really, really angry and enraged with myself that i struggle with my self identity and who iam, because it puts you in a vunerable position, and im my experience, it puts you at the mercy of those who maybe impose themselves upon you..
as i do have a history of being bullied through high school, and victimised by street gangs, in neighborhoods i lived in...
so now, as i wait for therapy, i feel the urge and eagerness to come into my own and feel confident in who iam...and i get incredablly angry when i cant do this... i become in a rage..because assertiveness wont come, i get easily intimidated to....
ive never had a girlfriend in life, or any friends, and never had my needs met in any other way either in life..
times gonna run out on me, im nearlly 30
can anyone see what i mean? and sense the struggles i face?
Answers:
Just reading the first two lines all i could think was "i can relate" i have not been diagnosed but i have alot of the symptoms of bpd. And its funny cause im in a relationship but i want the hell out, cause being the way i am i think hes abusing me when in reality he really isnt. I just yo-yo from wanting to stay to thinking i only stay for the convience and end up hating myself for not telling him flat out what i want or need. Sometimes i feel like im insane, i just recently started making friends, i shared some things with them and they thought i was really in trouble when they didnt realize i was venting. I feel you, its rough. Cause when you finally put yourself out there and make friends your scared youll just lose them cause thats what your used to.
But seriously 30 is the new 20, dont think about time, think about getting better and figuring yourself out. Ive heard and been doing this stuff lately. Its called dialectical behaviour therapy. You can do it for yourself to help ground yourself. Some things may sound silly but it helps me when i actually do it. I hope this helps, chat with someone if you want to. ~ Sheky ~