My father is a hoarder, aka, "pack rat". What can I do about this?!


Question:

My father is a hoarder, aka, "pack rat". What can I do about this?

He's a senior in pretty good health, yet our home is an absolute embarrassment. Aside from the clutter, he doesn't do any cleaning such as vaccuming, mopping, or cleaning the bathroom. I have been trying to help for about 6 months now. He is a very easy going person, but when I have asked for his help on the cleaing, he says "don't worry about it". This is very frustrating, and it is stressing me out. Instead of dealing with the mess and repairs, he puts more time into volunteer work than a person with a full time job. We are getting our bathroom remodeled, which is a start, but my fear is that he will never clean it. By the way, this problem began after my parents divorce 15 years ago, and he is still bitter about it. My mom did all the cleaning and was actually an extreme neat freak. I've been trying to go through things, throwing them out, donating them, selling stuff online. And how can I get past his "don't worry about it" response?

Additional Details

1 month ago
He also buys and collects things: tools, race cars, pens, flashlights, magnets, books, magazines, t-shirts, (toy bugs and spiders are the latest collection). He brings these items home and is proud of them, yet they sit in their unopened boxes and collect dust. He also saves empty containers, we must have a hundered scoops for laundry detergent!

1 month ago
He also brings guests over after pleading with him not to because I am just too embarrassed. How can I get him the help he needs? Invite over a psychologist??


Answers:

It seems that not cleaning is the way your dad deals with the separation; your mom used to be a very clean person. It seems to me that the more you tell him to clean the least he is going to do it. If this really bothers you perhaps you can take him to therapy. As you can see, he is not a "lazy" person as he likes to do volunteer work; there are some unresolved issues about the separation and perhaps telling him to clean makes it even worse. Good luck and many blessings!




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