Co dependency issues need support/help!?!

Co dependency issues need support/help!?

hi, i am in desperate need of support of people who have struggled with similar problems...and how they overcame their struggles with co dependency...

i have co dependency issues with my boyfriend. we have been friends for 3 years and dating for a little over a year now and my boyfriend has been so patient with my struggle with my emotional dependency toward him. i desperately will take any advice from someone who has been thru this ! thank u!

Usually co-dependancy stems from a DEEP seeded abandonment issue (like perhaps your mother OR father left when you were a child or you were somehow abused by someone you previously felt safe with).

I had the SAME issue and still do (and always will) to some degree! Luckily, I also found a very kind, patient man who was WILLING to "put up" with my insecurities and issues. He somehow understood that it WASNT HIM at all... simply a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could NOT get rid of! I would get scared if he wanted to go "hang out" w/ the guys, not that he would cheat, but that he would have more fun WITHOUT ME then he did WITH me! I worried that he would just leave and never come back! I simply couldnt shake the feeling AT ALL! Its a horrible feeling especially when you KNOW in your heart that the person you are "testing" over and over again doesnt deserve it!

The man, now my husband, stuck it out with me... through thick and thin and now 6 yrs later I am FINALLY at the point where it no longer bothers me! It just took a LOT of time, patience and understanding on his part. A lesser man wouldve left and I feel blessed every single day that I found such an amazing man! I still have my worries from time to time.. but its NOT like it used to be! I no longer worry that he's not going to come home or that he's going to find someone else! I finally BELIEVE that when you truly LOVE someone that you DONT hurt them in the way that my mother and I were hurt when I was a child. I have LEARNED through my husband what the MEANING of love really is and because of that I dont have doubts anymore!

Hopefully you have found the same type of man. Make sure that you remind him over and over again that it is NOT him and to please just be patient with you and once you DO finally feel secure in the relationship.. you WILL stop feeling the way you do! Its the insecurity that is driving your co-dependance!

I also now go to a therapist once a week... but its really for other issues stemming from my childhood. But it is ALL related to what happened to me years ago and I KNOW that if I dont take care of those things now, then in some form they WILL continue to haunt me and I WILL subconsiously tear my relationship apart through continuous "testing" of my husbands love for me! There is only SO MUCH your significant other can take, no matter how much they love you! Its not fair to them OR to you!

So, seek counceling... but also know that when you DO find that REAL LOVE in your life, that the feelings WILL eventually subside and you will be able to feel "free" (and so will he!)

Good luck and God Bless!