Can Anyone Define What's Wrong With Me?!

Can Anyone Define What's Wrong With Me?

I just don't even know what to call it. I try relatively hard to be emotionally responsible for myself because I don't really have anyone. I've never really received much love in my life and nobody's ever wanted my affections. Only have a few close friends who I've known for years, and in at least one of them I'm ranked pretty high among people he likes (he has a lot of friends), but they still call me once in a blue moon to do things. I'm usually the one calling them when I'm just sick of being alone. they're open to doing things, but nobody really asks to spend time with me.
It’s just that nobody ever seems to want to get to know me at all, regardless of if I try or not. Nobody really cares.

1 month ago
Now, I know that's loneliness. And as I said before, I'm trying to be responsible for the effects on my mind and body that loneliness takes. I WANT to remedy it, and I'm a pretty good person. Very good company when I'm disinhibited (things like alcohol do not disinhibit me that way. Only certain social connections. It's only happened to me like 4 times in my life in the first second of conversation each time), but I can't control that disinhibition that makes me so social and happy. The problem there lies in the fact that without that disinhibition, I don’t really have any words to say. I want to talk with others. I try to ask open-ended questions but nobody is ever receptive.

1 month ago
They’ll answer, though it’s often a quick and to the point conversation-ender because it doesn’t leave any gaps to discuss things further. If I’m lucky they’ll reciprocate the question, but then it just goes nowhere. I just hit a brick wall and I just don’t know what else to say even though I want to talk with them. What do you even call that? It’s not really social anxiety disorder since I’m not too worried about being embarrassed or anything. I don’t know how to define it, and because of that I don’t really know what type of steps need to be made to fix things.

Thanks if you can tell me what to call this problem.

1 month ago
In response to Nicholas, I'm 18, 19 in about 2 months. And yes, much of this is my fault and I can trace a lot of things back to a few events that very well have stunted emotional growth in specific areas to certain degrees. And again, I'm trying to fix that. I do act like myself. Honestly, that further alienated me because who I am is very atypical of what's normal for a teenager. I wasn't willing to live a lie though. I'm still myself, but it certainly didn't help me associate with others when I was younger. I'll try to look into my body language, but I try to look people in the eyes when talking to them and not just at their face. It still doesn't really help me. I'll look into charisma but there's probably more to it than that. I wish I knew what caused that disinhibition. I can engage people in conversation for a LONG time like that, and I don't have to think about what to say, I'm entertaining, and talking is FUN then.

1 month ago
Northern Disclosure:
Neither, really. No extremes like "I need to hide" or "I really need to put myself out there." It's really close to the level of a normal social conversation and how one would go about it (I smile plenty and laugh at peoples jokes and such. I'm nice to people and actually attempt to learn about who they are). It's just that unlike other normal cases, the people I speak to often show no interest in me in return to what i say. I can only think of so many things to ask without them giving a little back. Then it just becomes awkward. Then I just run out of things to say after a while of them not talking back to me.

go to your local mental health service and talk to somebody and get on some medicine to help with this , and you will find that you will be feeling better and will be able to get out and make new friends because you need that to because your friends do not sound like much ! good luck