Thinking about the meaning of life and existence is driving me mad???!

Thinking about the meaning of life and existence is driving me mad???

its even driven me literally to alcoholism help me i feel l ike nothing is worth it and i cant be positive about anything cos nothing matters this is serious please help

1 month ago
but the thing is until about 2 weeks ago i was eveyones favourite party girl and i loved jsut 'avin it' in life, so to speak. so i drink loads and jsut have fun but then sudenly one day i woke up and felt numb to the world and detatched from existence...so i started drinking to make myself care and it worked...i was back on the party vibe and kept drinking and dirnking.......until i passed out without realising......woke up, went bk to sleep before work then wehn i got up for work i was stuck in a major panic attack and had to be put on sedatives to stop me from reaching for antoehr drink to cope (after a 2 hour horrific conversation with my mum bout how i felt) now i just feel depressed and panicky at the thought of me being like bacteria on earth and nothing actually mattering ahhhhhh fuk

1 month ago
thing is im usually the most optimistic person in the world, the joker who cheers everyone up
now i feel completely the opposite, negative about every single thing i just dunno wat to do im so scared

I note in your previous question you are trying to overcome alcoholism. Presently you probably feel like a failure and are queationing things like life and your self worth. Ask yourself what are you feeling and why are you feeling like this. Try to find a core reason for your drinking and questioning life.

When you have your reason think am i being unrealistic, neurotic and magnifying this problem? The answer is likely to be yes. Think about your reason compared to life in general.

You then need to find a new reason, a positive one. For example if the reason you came to is "because im terrified of failing/because im a looser/ because i feel worthless and dont love myself" change it to "i'm intelligent, have achieved...., am a good mum/daughter/etc...., people love me because" You get the picture.

Then start a diary. Each day can be sectioned into good and bad. Write down what makes you feel bad and try to wonder why. If you dont know why write down how it is making you feel. Then write down what you have achieved that day, what made you feel good and happy. When you need a boost look at the good things. Hopefully before long the bad feelings and thoughts will decrease and good ones will be confident and stronger. In time you will figure where ur negative energy originates from and why and you wont feel the need to question life because nobody has those answers really. Instead you will learn to love life and live. xxxxxxxxxxxxx