Please help me?!

Please help me?

i am a 14 year old girl and i just got out of ninth grade. i was depressed for the whole school year, and then the first few weeks of summer have been awesome. i started cutting a while ago and then stopped and started again a little bit. i think about killing myself all the time. and the other day i was on my raised porch and i just got up and climbed over the rail. it is only like a ten foot drop and there is a huge bush in the way, but i was still going to jump if just for the pain. but then i realized that unless i somehow died, i would have to explain to people what happened. and i don't want to do that. it is my worst fear to tell anyone what has been going on this past year. so i didn't jump, and i walked five miles to my best friend's house instead but i couldn't tell her why i had come. and now i don't know what to do, do i need help? should i tell people? or should i just slap myself in the face and move on. does a truly suicidal person tell people? i don't know what to do...

1 month ago
this is so terrifying
and i forgot to mention that i am not sure my friend will believe me and not think that i am doing this for attention because i know someone who did cut and they all say she did it for attention

try to get your parents to get you on antidepressants. its your best chance. and yea, suicidal ppl do sometimes tell others