I dont have a meaning in this world?!

I dont have a meaning in this world?

i have nobody, i have pushed everyone away, my family, friends, and everybody else. I wake up every morning not wanting to live, im very depressed and spend all my time in my room. I have a boyfriend but he hasent called in almost 2 weeks and I dont know if I should still be with him, he does that all the time and I tell him and he says he wont do it again but after a while he does it again. My parents make fun of me and say he is cheating on me and that he probably has some one else. I feel like Im starting to hate everyone and I dont want to be here anymore. i have a broken heart and its all turning to hate.

he i pretty much feel the same way u do right now. i suffer from panic disorder and it takena toll on me in the last 3 months or more. ive been a lab rat for yrs. the only med that works for me is paxil and it makes me not care and be moody to everyone that is close to me. i think i just lost the love of my life last night bc i been so agitated. so this is what im doing about it. Im going to the dr monday to hoping get off paxil and friday i have an appt with a naturalist that i pray will help me see the light and get me on some natural supplements that wont cause a million side effects. then im planning on working on not being so freaken mad all the time. if you want to e-mail me feel free. we can chat and figure out a way not to push people away.