I don't know what to do?! Serious answers only please!?!

I don't know what to do?! Serious answers only please!?

Help! when i got home today i got confronted by my parents - my mum had found my little book (which i brought downstairs to see the poem which i put on here, and then forgot to take back to my room) and it has stuff in there - drawings of slit wrists, poems of suicide etc - basically everything i let out when feeling sh*t. now they're worried about me. they sat me down to 'talk' to find out what's wrong, but in situations like that i just get upset and can't talk. the most i managed to get out was that i hate myself. they say they want me to talk to them, or that they can arrange for me to talk to a doctor if i want. but i don't want to talk to anyone. i'm not even completely sure about why i feel like i do myself. i feel talking to a doctor would be good, but i think i'd die of fear first - i really am too scared. and i don't know what i'd say. i'm just completely stressed out - i've lost all trust - mum says she was on the phone and needed paper to write on but there was easier acces

1 month ago
..access to paper than going through my book - paper we always use when on the phone, so i feel she was looking through it to be nosy. i don't feel i can trust anyone anymore. since this confrontation (about two hours ago) i've gone really depressed and panicky (in my head) and dad says that we will be having another talk about it. i don't know what to do. please help.

Whether or not you want to talk to someone is irrespective, if there's one thing Ive learnt from battling depression for 10 years, its that when you don't feel like asking for help is precisely the right time to get help. Please, please go to the GP or ask to speak to a counsellor or something. You will find that it doesnt matter if you dont know what to say, saying ANYTHING is a help, ok? Don't waste your life trying to battle your demons on your own, it takes a stronger person to admit they need help. Good Luck.