I am in a LTR with an alcoholic, has anyone else ever wished their alcoholic lov!

I am in a LTR with an alcoholic, has anyone else ever wished their alcoholic loved one would just die???

I really love this guy, God knows why, and have often tried to walk away. I just can't seem to, I am loyal to a fault and I am the only friend he has in the world. Sad huh? I believe in standing by my man, but a time comes when enough is enough. I have often thought I wish he'd just get it over with so that I can move on. I feel like such a horrible person for thinking that, and like a failure for not being able to walk away. I don't think he'll ever quit for good (he has tried, the longest was 4 months dry.....). He has damaged his body (and mind ), has pancreous trouble, Hep C, and cirrosis. I know I should just leave but it's not in my nature no matter how much I want to..... Has anybody else been in this position? How did, or do, you deal with it?

1 month ago
Someone called me an enabler, and I just wanted to address that real quick. I do not allow him to drink around me. I left him last year for the 4th or 5th time and finally put my foot down and told him it was me or the booze, that I didn't like being second to a bottle and wouldn't live like that. We stayed apart for 6 months. He swore he was dry, and though I should have known better I let him move back in. He stayed dry 4 months. He has now gone to his parents for a "visit" and is on a binge. I miss him but won't let him came back here to live. This is the hardest thing for me, but I am tired, frustrated and hurt. I can't help but wonder why he doesn't love me enough to quit. I have been with him for 7 years. The first six we lived together and yes he drank at home. I begged, pleaded, fought with him, stood by him when he got so sick he ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks..... Sorry to babble on but I need to hear from someone who's been there and understands.....

My first husband was an alcoholic. I know what you are going through. In my case, I finally admitted to myself, that I couldn't help him, so I left.
You have to decide when you have had enough. He is killing himself. He is dragging you down. You love him and yet you resent him at the same time. Unless he gets help, it will only get worse for you. Go to al-anon as the first poster suggested. They will help you get through this. They will help you find the strength to do what you have to do.
Good Luck to you.

Gina, I know exactly what you are feeling, the hurt, the anger, the resentment and at times hatred for what his drinking is doing to both of you. Those feelings you are having are normal in this situation. All of the begging, pleading, supporting and fighting with him will not make him change. Like any addiction, he won't be able to quit out of love for you. He HAS to do quit because HE wants to.
He is going to really have to hit rock bottom before he can admit his problem, and only then will he be able to get help. Only then will you begin to heal and only then will your relationship start to mend.
No matter what you are going through, you have to stay tough and not let him back UNTIL he has stopped. Do NOT accept anything less. You deserve it better!