Whats wrong with me?!


Question:

Whats wrong with me?

Im a regular 15 year old guy. But up until last year by dad physically abused me. My mom finally got him away from me. I still have signs I was abused like a burn mark on my shoulder and a huge burn scar on my back. But I have dreams really scary dreams about my dad. The other day i woke up screaming at my friends house. It was so embarising. When adults yell at me like teachers I sort of cower. I cant help it. In the p.e locker room I refuse to dress in front of other guys for the simple fact I ahve a huge burn mark from an iron up my back. Whats wrong with me?

Additional Details

1 month ago
Well. I think it was probably easy to tell that my dad hit me. Most kids didnt come to school with there whole face swollen. I cant even look at my mom without feeling sick. She sat back and watched that man beat me and pretended nothing happened for 14 years.


Answers:

Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing.
I have some experience here, and I've struggled with the same things, i.e., hiding the physical signs, feeling threatened by other adults, as well as the nightmares.
I would suggest, first and foremost, therapy. Talking to someone might not be what you want to do, but it will help, more than you'd think. If you don't have access to a certified therapist, however, there are other people you can talk to. School counselors, your mom, another relative. Whoever you are comfortable with.
If it's really not possible to talk to anyone, a journal could help. You can record anything, your memories, difficult moments you experience through the days, and definately your dreams. Write them down. Think about them. How you felt during, and after.
It probably sounds stupid, but this does help. What happened to you can't be blocked, or forgotten. You have to face it to get past it. And again, talking to someone, preferably a therapist or a counselor at school, is, ideally, what you need.
______________________________...

Yeah, anger was a big part of it for me, later on. There were two other adults in the same household (relatives) who never stopped the abuse. They never said anything, to anyone, and let it go on for more than a decade.
Therapy, man, I'm telling you. The symptoms can fester if you don't get help.




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