This is very serious and i am scared?!

This is very serious and i am scared?

my eight year old daughter has been staying with my friend while attending a nice private school about 400 miles away from me. she has a problem opening up and now my friend said that she caught her masturbating a few times, not really appropriate for an eight year old. she doesn't want to talk much she just goes to her room here and that has always bothered me. is this a sign that she is being molested? keep in mind that i have anxiety issues as it is and so serious answers only thank you

1 month ago
i also wanted to add that i was a single mother when i met my friend and she and i became roomates and my daughter is very close to her. she is almost as much her mom as i am even though we both have gotten married my daughter loves to go see her and talk to her on the phone so her staying with her is nothing out of the ordinary

Masturbation in females can start as soon as the age of six (Wikipedia) and I've read earlier ages somewhere along the way. It is normal and healthy.

The fact that your friend has brought this to your attention strikes me as one of concern on their part. Perhaps they are looking to you to see how you want them to handle this. They are the surogate parent since she is living there.

Speaking as a victim of sexual abuse (7-9), this had no influence on masturbation for me. And as for her being withdrawn when she comes home is no surprise because this isn't where she's living any more. So there is confusion... remember, she's still very young and doesn't reason like an adult. She could be shy by nature or having seperation anxiety. And anxiety can be hereditary.

If the masturbation discussion is the ONLY thing that concerns you about abuse, I would think twice about questioning your friend. If there are other red flags, I'd get her into therapy to make sure all is well. To jump to conclusions with no basis accomplishes nothing and could destroy a friendship.

Also, do you have some feelings of guilt having her so far away? That can be fueling your anxiety in a negative way. So long as she is doing this in the privacy of her room, there shouldn't be anything to worry about in my opinion.

I look at this as your friend informing you of her development and making sure the situation is handled as you see fit. If she caught her drinking or smoking, they would do this exact same thing. Good luck.