..Suicide.?!

..Suicide.?

I might be a coward to say this, but i don't intend to go on like this anymore. I don't even want to be living, so I dont know why God is continuing my pain. Of course I go back after Nick, of course I do. The reason? Because im pathetic, he's the only thing i have in my life. And he was nice to me, the other day, he was so nice to me. But today, he was different, he hated me again.


Cant live on anymore, just can't. It's either be with him, and him kill me himself with his violence, or be without him, and I take my own life. It sounds pathetic, it sounds so stupid. But why not hey, f*k all this unnesacary pain and life, and all its little belongings. Its torture, its not fun, its not a gift or a blessing. Its a disaster, id rahter sleep for eternity and be fogotten than live like this.

I must be so much of a bad person to try so hard to please someone and be hated in return.

So why am i still here?
Why isnt God answerein my prayers and ending my pain?

why are you letting him defeat you ?
No man is worth your life !
go dress up and look your best and show him what he missed out on !
Do not get beaten !!
Get even !