Whatt can you do if you feel angry, bitter and full of rage because youve missed!

Whatt can you do if you feel angry, bitter and full of rage because youve missed out in life on the delights?

you see others around you enjoying, other peoples happiness.
when you feel as though youve been denied alll of that, what you see others have, friendships, relashionships, girlfriends, fullfillment, getting their needs met...my life has been devoid of all that, a great absence of that.
im 29 now, have suffered a life time of trauma since 15, i have bpd and get bad depressions, ive never been employed or ive never had a girlfriend or been in a relashionship..
now im aging prematurly, physically, and i feel bitter angry and resentfull that ive never had the happiness that i see others indulge in around me..
i wait for therapy, but i fear because of how i feel and my terrible low self esteem, ill end up alone, bitter, lonely and angry, then ill probally end up doing myself in.....and who will care? no ones gonna save me, people will just let me wither away...underneath all this pain i have ambition, ambition to move away from the uk and build a new life, but i worry ill never do it.

1 month ago
can anyone see i can overcome this?

1 month ago
so many wonderfull great answers, iyd be unfair to choose a best answer on this one, thankyou all again so much

You say that you have ambitions then it sounds to me that you will care if you don't make it. If you are angry about missing out why don't you stop staying locked up in your apartment and go out and participate. Everything is ackward at first, but will get easier if you start trying. What is it going to take to get you to go out and do what you want? What is keeping you back? Premature aging? you mean like grey hair a lot of people your age get that it's not like it matters. If a girl was only interested in your hair at all what possiable kind of successful relationship could it be, someone a little more deep would be preferable.

If you are upset about the loss of your time, wouldn't it make sence to NOT continue. I know what it's like to be afraid to go outside but it won't get better until you do. You know what this feels like, do you like it? If the aswer is no then don't keep doing it. If you don't try how will you know what it is or if you like it? If you are kind to people they will always like you. I once know a man who was actually a midget who was bald and not very good looking. This is a true story. One day he brought over a very hot girl she was tall well built and long blond hair. They were seeing each other for a while and we had to ask why was she with him, she said he treated her very well. This happens all the time I could tell you more stories just like that girls want to be loved, treated well, not be cheated on, or hurt looks arn't that important.

Dumb idea if you want a girl come to the USA so many girls will just want to hear you talk just about all women want a man from your country. I'm not saying thats a good reason to be with someone, but I think you would benefit from the attention and experience.