How do I cope with guilt and sadness from losing my sister?!
Question:
How do I cope with guilt and sadness from losing my sister?
My sister, 35, died 3 years ago from a drug overdose. I had kicked her out of my home a few weeks earlier as I did not trust her. She had lived with me on several other occasions and had lied to me and stole money from my home. She knew she had a problem (diagnosed with behavioral personality disorder) and tried to help herself, but always fell back in to her old ways. I loved her, but did not want her in my home. So, I kicked her out one night (paid for 1 night in a hotel and I left her there). She died several weeks later. I spoke to her the night before she died. I told her that I was going to try to help her get out of the mess she was in (debt, arrest for shoplifting, etc.) and I said that I didn't think she would try to kill herself. She was very quiet when I said that. She was supposed to call me in the morning and never did. I thought she had stood me up, but in the back of my mind, I knew something was wrong. Now 3 years later I am still trying to get over my guilt.
Answers:
By totally accepting the fact that you and your sister are victims of circumstances that are beyond your control. Humans err.
When you kicked her out of your house that was the feeling you were feeling then, and you just expressed it for her to know that you don't approve of her ways; and by getting her a room in a hotel you just showed her you love her and you really care for her despite of everything. And that is very considerate of you.
It's not your fault, nor hers. Each of us have our own destiny.