What's wrong with me?!

What's wrong with me?

I've met this guy (olive skin, dark eyes, dark hair)-very different than the usual blonde, light skin, blue eyes I go for (always until now).

We've had a wonderful date talked 3 1/2 hours, walked, ate..really nice. Next day went to a club..but I was so stiff, like a dead person! Although I though his body was hot I kept being STIFF (VERY AWARE of the fact that we should become closer...that now this was the next step...) . After 3 drinks I was more aware and rational than ever..just felt so tense! But then in the morning when I woke up (alone -we said good bye on the street), it felt soooo good to fel his parfume on my body from when we danced -I would just curl like a cat and smell it on myself! It was fuzzy and nice.

Then yesterday we met at the park -I thought I really wanted him now...but then with him there..stiff again! When we had to say goodbye he kissed me and all I felt was panick and I didn't enjoy the kiss -pretty bad one.

What's wrong (with me)?

Somewhere along the line somebody taught you that dark skin, hair and eyes were forbidden. It is called prejudice. You are going to have to look that monster in the eye if you want to have a relationship with this guy. Some journaling might be helpful. List what you like about him and what makes you uncomfortable. Everyone has these learned feelings in their darker side. We all need to learn where they are and how to use logic and reason, change the thoughts to change the feelings, so that our behavior does not hurt others.