I need help with depression please...?!

I need help with depression please...?

Be honest please. I don't know what to do right now and I need your best advice. Last night I was hearing and seeing people in my room that were not there.

I am a white male turning 18 in a few months. I have been depressed for several years. I have had suicidal thoughts daily. IS THIS NORMAL ?

I don't know what is wrong with me. My mind is permanently broken and nothing can ever fix it. The only time I feel good about myself and the world is when I am drunk with my few friends. I have lost interest in everything. Every day is exactly the same. Life is pointless and I have lost faith in any god.

I have fucked up. Soon I will have to move out and get a **** job because I did not try in school. I was picked on every day. I wasted my entire youth playing computer games by myself. I wasted it all wallowing in self pity, something I'm doing right now. What a total **** up huh? What a waste of my life. Maybe I should just get started burning in hell forever.

You may have something called 'psychotic depression'. This when you have the symptoms of depression, and means you have delusions and hallucinations while knowing that they are not real.
Have you been to see a doctor about your depression? Maybe you need to see a GP or a psychiatrist. I know how scary that can be, but I promise that it will help in the long run. Best of luck.