What should I look for in a marital therapist?!


Question:

What should I look for in a marital therapist?

What kind of professional, philosophical or personal characteristics give good results, (get the relationship back on solid ground)


Answers:

A psychotherapist with LMFT for licensed marriage and family therapist after their name assures you that the therapist has been particularly trained to do marriage therapy. There are good family therapists out there who are not LMFT's so it is not essential. Ask for referrals from friends, clergy, and doctors.

A good marriage therapist should be very clear about boundaries and goals up front. I particularly like to see it in writing. They should inform you of fees, cancellation policies, limits of confidentiality and so forth. There should be a clear understanding about using material from therapy in divorce or custody proceedings. Both partners should be clear that neither one is the primary client, the therapist is not on one person's side. Goals for therapy should be developed, preferably in written form, in the first few sessions. An example might be the resolution of a, b, and c in an emotionally safe space.

A good therapist should facilitate communication between the partners. There are no guarantees in life and anyone who promises to save a relationship is not someone you want. A good therapist will make it clear that she is there to help you achieve your relationship goals, not to do it for you. I hope this is helpful.




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