I'm afraid of death in every aspect, but I continue to have an odd obsession wit!

I'm afraid of death in every aspect, but I continue to have an odd obsession with it...what's wrong with me?

I'm not obsessed in a weird necrophiliac kind of way, but I research all of its aspects all the time. I could probably be a certified mortician by now with all the research and books I've read. The weird thing about it is the fact that I get the "willies" when I even drive through a funeral home parking lot. I don't know what to do. It's all I think about all day. When I see people I always try to figure out what they will look like when they are embalmed or what make-up I would use. It's really frustrating. I don't like the fact that I'm obsessed with the same thing that I'm terrified of. Please help!!

I've gone through really similar phases at different points in my life so far. I think it's a fairly normal thing that most people don't talk about because they're scared. Death is a really scary, permanent thing that we all have to face and learning more about it makes it a little less baffling and frightening. Don't let your interest become an obsession, but deal with it how you can. You're just fine.