What is this and how do you deal with it?!

What is this and how do you deal with it?

im 29 and have had bpd, and depression since 15. for alot of that time ive struggled with intense rage feelings and uncontrolable rage outbursts. i used to go outside, and disassociate, miss percieve threatening situations, would be unable to make eye contact without staring, then that would lead to an outburst of explosive rage..
ive been through an excessive amount of trauma in my life, bullying throughout high school, being attacked, and victimised by gangs in the street in the time period after school.
now i stay in everyday in my one bedroomed flat, and iam frightened to go outside amoungst people, because im scared i might have an outburst and lose it, and act out, thus getting me into alot of trouble...i stay in and am afraid to go out because of this..plus i have great feelings of anxiety and panic to, so that also keeps me in. its like im scared of what i might do...how can i work on this?

Have you ever tried therapy? I know a lot of people get defensive when the idea is brought up (I know I did when I was depressed as a teenager; nearly committed suicide), but sometimes truly opening up to someone can make a world of difference and it sounds like maybe you don't have too many people close to you that you could truly do this with.

I don't really think, however, that this is a problem that can be easily solved by asking Yahoo!Answers. It sounds to me like positive human contact is what you're lacking, and it's impossible to get that on the internet, even amongst a close-knit online community.