My Only Child:What Would You Do As A Parent?!
Question: My son is 24 who attends college away from home (525 miles).has asthma, and unresponsible about his health and schooling. I know the most of you are going to say that he's an adult that he should be responsible and I agree. His asthma is becoming chronic because he didn't believe that this disease would take over him. He was just release from the hospital (1 week stay) and he was on a breathing machine for 3 days. Doctors talk to him about this disease...told him that he must take his medicines...The next day, my son and I were in an agrument about taking his medicines..because he doesn't like pills...He doesn't have any insurance. I have applied for assistance from the state we live. Since I know he nots reliable for health or schooling (grades failing)..Would you release him back to school (525 away) or Monitor him were we live?
Answers: My son is 24 who attends college away from home (525 miles).has asthma, and unresponsible about his health and schooling. I know the most of you are going to say that he's an adult that he should be responsible and I agree. His asthma is becoming chronic because he didn't believe that this disease would take over him. He was just release from the hospital (1 week stay) and he was on a breathing machine for 3 days. Doctors talk to him about this disease...told him that he must take his medicines...The next day, my son and I were in an agrument about taking his medicines..because he doesn't like pills...He doesn't have any insurance. I have applied for assistance from the state we live. Since I know he nots reliable for health or schooling (grades failing)..Would you release him back to school (525 away) or Monitor him were we live?
I hate to say it but there has to be more to the story. If he is 24 and does not like to take care of himself there are other issues at hand. You may need to let him handle things by himself. He may need some psychological counseling though.
Unfortunately since he's 24, I doubt you can really hold him against his will. If there is someway to get him to see that his health is probably affecting his grades, that would be good. You could encourage him to stay home, but if he decides to go, there's not much you can do.
This is a question only a Mother or Father can answer. If he wants to continue to live, sounds like he must take his medication. He is being awfully immature, like a five year old who won't take his cough syrup.
Best of luck to you.
For low cost doctors, he could call the public health department and ask about free or low cost clinics. If he is in college, sometimes they have low cost student health insurance too.
For free or low cost meds, try Montel's http://www.pparx.org where they hook up uninsured people with drug manufacturers who have programs for free or low cost meds.
If you're paying for his school, then I guess you have a say, however, you can't keep him at home under lock and key. He's an adult and part of being an adult is having responsibility. I know you care about him and are worried about him, but you have to let him go and live his life. If he wants to be in bad health the rest of his life, he's the one that will suffer. I know that's hard to do since you're a mother, but it's up to him. If he wants to go back to the school he's at and you don't pay his tuition or try to keep him close by, that will only drive him further away. He needs to learn on his own to grow up. It sounds like he needs to make his own mistakes. It may take more than one hospitalization for it to sink in.
Look him in the eye and tell him if he does not take it he'll die. Sound strong and sad. Send him to school and tell the school nurse to make sure he takes hes medicine hope he gets better.
Monitor him where you live.*
OMG.. Cut the apron strings and get on with your life...As much as you wont admit it, YOUR SON IS AN ADULT. Thats right, he grew up.. Heck, when i was 24 I had 4 sons and was running a business... My god, quit (s)mothering him to death and his asthma will likely get way better if not disappear all together, as stress (like your causing him) is the biggest factor of the onset of an asma attack...
I agree with psychological counselling. I believe there is more to it than just not wanting to take his medicine. You may also advise him that if he refuses to consider his own life as meaningful then at least, he may consider others.
Hello Karen,
Happy New Year to you to.
Unfortunately your child, has grown to an adult; always too quickly in a mother's eyes, and we as parents, "Never stop being a parent, but Karen it's so wrong to hover over him."
While letting him spread his wings take pride, and an interest in knowing: You have raised him in good thought, caring brains; to do what is right in his journey of life.
You will be surprised just how quick he will learn, on his own, that he no longer has his mommy catering to every little concern, and therefore it's now up to him to use those wings, and fly the coop, but however he is only a phone call away from dear old wise mom, and always a heartbeat within reach.
You raised him well, now let him show you; Put him to the test.
Love from another loving mother whom have been in your shoes a many times, and on both sides of the fence.
They do not come with Blueprints at birth, and nor did we.
(words from my mother, when in your shoes ;-)
I understand your fear...It would almost be paramount to letting your son do meth and say ok..If you are paying for his college then you are still in charge of his health. Take the meds or go to a college near home and live there.
Oh, I hate that for you...