Erectile Dysfunction. I am young and attractive, what's wrong???!
Question: My fiance has recently had problems keeping his erection. We have always had amazing sex and I consider myself an attractive woman. I don't know what's wrong. I'm crying as I write this. Just this morning, a romp that would have had us both sweaty and in the shower left him frustrated and me crying.
I am considerably younger than him (I am 26, he is 42) but until now he was the best lover I ever had. And I ALWAYS turned him on. I don't know. I've caught him looking at porn occasionally. Is he comparing me to the women in the movies? Am I no longer "doing it" for him?
We're planning a huge wedding for June and now I'm afraid this could be the beginning of the end. He says he loves me, he says he wants to be my husband, he says I am beautiful and I turn him on and it's not my fault...but his body says something different.
Answers: My fiance has recently had problems keeping his erection. We have always had amazing sex and I consider myself an attractive woman. I don't know what's wrong. I'm crying as I write this. Just this morning, a romp that would have had us both sweaty and in the shower left him frustrated and me crying.
I am considerably younger than him (I am 26, he is 42) but until now he was the best lover I ever had. And I ALWAYS turned him on. I don't know. I've caught him looking at porn occasionally. Is he comparing me to the women in the movies? Am I no longer "doing it" for him?
We're planning a huge wedding for June and now I'm afraid this could be the beginning of the end. He says he loves me, he says he wants to be my husband, he says I am beautiful and I turn him on and it's not my fault...but his body says something different.
It could be any number of things. I've had two couple friends of mine have been through this, one couple in their mid-30s, the other in their 20s!
Stress can be a big factor in this. You may also want to consider a medical problem (not erectile dysfunction in and of itself, but issues like possible diabetes or high blood pressure.)
He should see a doctor, unfortunately, he is entering the age-range where medical issues begin to manifest in men (I understand, my husband is 15 years older than me, too.)
So not for vanity's sake, but for his overall health, he should see a doctor if this continues for any additional time.
it's generally a medical condition that causes the problem. he should see a doctor.
Erectile dysfunction is very common, esp among older men.
He should see a doctor to get a proper diagnose.
I know some men who truly love their wives but they can no longer feel the passion for them as much as they want to.
most impotantly you cant blame yourself for this problem. its not your fault. the majority of men will continue to look at porn whilst in a relationship, this is normal dont worry about it. you have to reassure him and let him know your on his side as the problem may be down to stress and anxiety, and not being able to 'perform' will add to this stress. try talking to him about it and disscus your options. show him paitence. it will all work itself out dont worry
Your question lacks some vital information. Has he had some new stress at work? Is he doing more labor or working out harder at the gym? Plus, marriage is an uber serious thing. Not that he wants to call it off, it but it is stressful.
Without making him feel insecure, talk to him about it. Do not mention your insecurities. And...the next time he can't keep it hard, whisper how sexy he is into his ear and pay attention to his genatalia with your hand or mouth. Plus if you have been with him for awhile, you should know that sex goes in waves from great to once in awhile. Just be the girl that he met and it will come back around.
First of all.....DON'T BLAME HIM OR YOURSELF! Instead, look at it from a pratical perspective. There are several ailments that can impact a man's ability to achieve an erection....diabetes....high blood pressure....and the good ole standby, STRESS. Have your fiance go to the doctor and go with him to show concern and support!
high blood pressure, the meds to treat it, sugar and cardio vascular disease can all cause this, as can low testosterone levels and nerve damage. honestly it is quite common and the reason viagra sells like it does.
he can adress the problem with a doctor and by losing weight and working out. in many cases this can be fixed by propper diet and exercise that lowers blood pressure and increases flow to the erection. i was struggling with this, and it motivated me to work out and eat right, now 40lbs lighter and much more fit, i work like i did when i was young.
The cause is the age helped by routine. Given the age gap, I dare to suggest, you make yourself a gift by cancelling the wedding. Trust your inner voice, this is the beginning of the end.
Its not you.
It could be his health level, it could be stress.
Treating the firmness of his erection as an indicator of his love and attraction level to you is not likely to decrease his stress level.
Talk it out, work it out together.