Foreskin Envy - Revisited?!
Question: Well, over the past few months, I've asked the same question: "how do you overcome feelings of foreskin envy?"
Well, after receiving amazing responses from members of this community (and having my first question reposted on another site), I'm still dealing with it.
Today, I discussed the topic with my Mother. Awkwardness was reduced because my sister had just had a baby and were having him circumcised. But I found out that my parents were just going by what my pediatrician had recommended, not for religious or cosmetic purposes. He just recommended it to reduce the chance of Phimosis or UTIs.
Well, it's nice to know that it wasn't for some stupid reason, at least. At this point, I'm still upset. I mean, I realize there's nothing I can do to bring back what I've lost. Oral sex (a topic that was brought up last time) doesn't matter to me, I'm gay and I don't enjoy the concept.
I just want to figure out how to get over it and make myself feel like I'm not missing out.
Answers: Well, over the past few months, I've asked the same question: "how do you overcome feelings of foreskin envy?"
Well, after receiving amazing responses from members of this community (and having my first question reposted on another site), I'm still dealing with it.
Today, I discussed the topic with my Mother. Awkwardness was reduced because my sister had just had a baby and were having him circumcised. But I found out that my parents were just going by what my pediatrician had recommended, not for religious or cosmetic purposes. He just recommended it to reduce the chance of Phimosis or UTIs.
Well, it's nice to know that it wasn't for some stupid reason, at least. At this point, I'm still upset. I mean, I realize there's nothing I can do to bring back what I've lost. Oral sex (a topic that was brought up last time) doesn't matter to me, I'm gay and I don't enjoy the concept.
I just want to figure out how to get over it and make myself feel like I'm not missing out.
Ah well, if you must know, even those reasons you were circumcised were a bit biased, as phimosis and UTIs are both fairly rare, and even with proper cleaning, which is as simple as running water over your penis and wiping anything off, UTIs in uncut guys are just as rare as they are in circumcised guys. So I'd still say you got the short end of the stick here. Sorry to perpetuate your insecurities. However, the best way to get over it is to find someone who loves you as you are, and come to terms with the fact that you cannot change it, and if you accept that your partner loves you like you are, you'll be much more content and happier in life. I probably would suggest against getting an uncut partner, as that will only make things worse as you will be inevitably jealous of him, but I may be utterly wrong, and there is a chance it might actually help you get over it too, as you can have fun with his all you want. I do wish you good luck to you in finding happiness.
Go to http://www.norm.org and set about restoring it.
aww, man. :( I'm sorry, dude. I think circumcision is a really awful, barbaric thing and it's effing creepy that parents think it's okay to take away a part of their babies' bodies that is so important for sex once their little baby is grown up.
I hate to tell you this, but circumcised guys probably do NOT get UTIs less frequently than whole guys.
But! I do have a story that might cheer you up. I have a good friend (also gay - hey!) who is not circumcised and he recently told me a tale of foreskin terror. He said that he tore his frenulum recently from being a bit too, uh, vigorous in the shower. Blood everywhere! Whoosh! The shower ran red! It was horrible! He had to call in sick to work because he couldn't get the bleeding to stop. Apparently this is a major problem with uncircumcised guys. My friend said it's not painful, but it sucked to deal with and he can totally see now why uncircumcised guys are more likely to get AIDS what with all the huge, bleeding, painless open wounds that can happen if you're not careful.
We had a good laugh over that one.
I've heard that there are nonsurgical ways to restore the foreskin but it only restores the appearance, obviously, not the lost sensation.
Did you mention your feelings to your sister? And did they still go ahead and circumcise the baby?
Sorry you are missing your foreskin. I don't remember what you said about foreskin restoration, if you were thinking of trying it or anything? You might benefit from non-surgical restoration like a lot of men, go to the NORM web site for more information.
Therapy also helps some men, and educating others about the cruel and pointless nature of circumcision. then of course others go too far the other way and promote circumcision, desperate to feel that they have the best situation.
True story,
I had a friend who would go commando and got his thing stuck in his zipper. The foreskin got trapped in it and was very carefully (and painfully) removed by a doctor. He always had problems with his foreskin (infections and nicking it) that he actually made the decision at 25 to get it removed and was much happier without it. Sexual feeling didn't really change much. He was actually much more confident in himself that he felt "normal" that he enjoyed sex more.
Well at least since you are gay you might get to play with a foreskin now and then :)
I responded to an earlier question of yours so you know I feel the same way.
I would suggest trying therapy but it is hard to find the right therapist. In the US where circumcision is still largely in vogue it may be even harder than here in Australia, where the rate has fallen to round 10%. But you should eventually find someone who can help you. Therapists understand that you need to find the right therapist for you.
By the way the pediatrician was wrong. The study linking UTIs with foreskins in the first year of life has been shown to be badly flawed. At that time all the full term boys were circumcised in that hospital. Only the premature baby boys were left intact and premature babies get more UTIs. So the UTIs were due to being premature and nothing to do with having a foreskin.
Similarly real childhood phimosis is extremely rare. Normal infant foreskins are attached firmly to the glans at birth. Attempts to retract infant foreskins cause serious damage and there is no cavity where germs and dirt can collect anyway. The foreskin only separates later, usually between two years and puberty. Adult phimosis has a lower incidence than complications from circumcision, like skin bridges, scarring or too much skin removed. Adult phimosis can also usually be cured by stretching and steroid creams. Circumcision is almost never really necessary.
So you should blame the doctor for giving bad advice.
I hope you find peace. You have every right to resent this mutilation.
I was circumsized for similar reasons and have no regrets. Just be happy you're getting some.
Hi Evedel
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have foreskin. I too had no say in the matter. It was done at birth. But I don't worry about it as I can't change it now. I know many say sex is more enjoyable if you haven't been circumcised. But how do they know? Nobody can feel what someone else feels. They only have their own experience to refer to. Just enjoy what you have.
All the best.
yo dude,
just get bf with hood............
.......problem solved, eh?
i'm sur he'll be stoked 4 u to play with it all ya want!!!!
marcus
As I told you in answer to your original question, I DO know what adult life is like with a foreskin, from the time before I was circumcised. Believe me, being circumcised is FAR better and it seems ridiculous to me that young girls like "Harriet" and young uncircumcised boys should be answering on a subject about which they have no experience or knowledge. Relax and be happy that you are circumcised!
When it comes to restoration dude, I hear that alot of people are actually very satisfied with the process and its not diffcult to do. Look at tlctugger.com. I came across this totally randomly, but I hear it works. If you really want a foreskin back, this is the way you do it, and apparantly you do restore partial sensitivity. Its not perfect, but better than nothing. Jee, thank god i was not cut. Sorry for your sister's kid; you should have tried talking her out of it. And for the foreskin terror story, what in the world was that person doing? I mean the worst thing that happened to mine was that it got a little soar, lol.