I'm a big guy, how can I feel confident around skinny girls, and feel better!
Question: I'm 19 years old 6'1" tall, I use to weigh 320 pounds and now I'm down to 270 pounds. I've been lifting weights and doing cardio and hope to lose another 50 pounds. I'm about four times as strong as I was just one year ago, I can actually now do 22 push ups in a row instead of like 4 lol. I have a really big skeletal frame, so even if I lose more weight I will still look big with broad shoulders and chest, which I don't mind because I like being big, but I want to be in shape with muscle. I just feel like talking to small skinny girls makes me look weird, and I lose confidence. I also developed stretch marks on my arms and stomach from losing weight and packing on muscle, and it really hurts my self-confidence. Can anyone help me?
Answers: I'm 19 years old 6'1" tall, I use to weigh 320 pounds and now I'm down to 270 pounds. I've been lifting weights and doing cardio and hope to lose another 50 pounds. I'm about four times as strong as I was just one year ago, I can actually now do 22 push ups in a row instead of like 4 lol. I have a really big skeletal frame, so even if I lose more weight I will still look big with broad shoulders and chest, which I don't mind because I like being big, but I want to be in shape with muscle. I just feel like talking to small skinny girls makes me look weird, and I lose confidence. I also developed stretch marks on my arms and stomach from losing weight and packing on muscle, and it really hurts my self-confidence. Can anyone help me?
I am 46 yrs. old, 5'3" tall and weigh 104 lbs. My boyfriend had the same issue when we started dating. He was about 220lbs, strong and definitely not the "gym" type of guy. We were friends for a year before we started dating and I enjoyed watching many a movie with my head on his chest for a pillow. Once we started dating, he lost a bunch of weight and thereby losing my pillow in the process!! Now he wants to start working out because he feels sub-conscience about himself when we are together because I am skinny and I keep telling him that I like him the way he is.... if I had wanted to date a muscle head, I would have! Don't feel weird around us skinny ones! Different women have different taste in men. Some like tall, dark and handsome types, some like the "bad Boy" type regardless of height, some prefer bald men some prefer short men with glasses and what drew me to my boyfriend was his salt/pepper hair and his compassion for other people... his body didn't really matter.
You might not be use to the new skinnier you... as you work towards your goal, your overall confidence will improve and you wont feel so weird. Confidence is attractive and the more confident you feel, the more attractive you will become! Maybe there is a skinny girl that already likes you but you might be sending out the wrong vibe... my boyfriend still thinks he doesn't deserve me and wonders why I am with him!
As for the stretch marks, again, it's how you feel about them that matters the most. There are creams and lotions that will diminish the appearance of them... one is Dermactin-TS but you can find more on line. But again, it's a sign of hard work... just ask any woman who has given birth!
You sound like a woman :p
Don't worry, I'm sure girls prefer a guy that can defend themself rather than someone more like me, 5'3, 130 lbs. And your stretch marks will probably go away as you develop more muscle.
just keep toning ur body mate , keep up the cardio, and talking to small girls is proberly a bit weird . but talking to small ladys is perfectly fine :)
It sounds like you're going in the right direction. Keep it up! Talking to girls isn't that hard, but just remember to be yourself. Girls like a guy with an outgoing personality, and with you sticking to your excersise routine, you should be fine. Don't worry about rejection, because everyone goes through it, one way or another. You'll find the right lady when you least expect it.
i think it's important to concentrate on whatever makes you happy at the moment. If you spend so much time wondering what other people think about you, you're going to regret it later. I know I still regret every second I spent when I was in high school. All four years. And I wasnt large or ugly (i dont think). But i still cared about waht people thought... I kept working out and trying impress other people. Just concentrate on waht makes you happy.
-Use lots of Humor. Girls love to laugh and feel happy.
-Don't sell yourself very hard if at all.
-Seem disinterested in anything other than friendship.
-When you hang out with a large group of girls at a club, other girls will wonder, which girl is with you and what it is about you that keeps the girls near you.
-You have to ooze confidence. Example - Look at William Hung. Bad Teeth, Goofy looking, wore a backpack - BUT - he exuded confidence. He was convinced that HE WAS THE SHIZ!!!! And it showed.
He became a celeb based on his confidence and ability to make us all laugh. (whether he knew about the last part or not)
Confidence. It's the key ingredient in this issue.
Never ever ever talk down about yourself.
Wear clothes that make you feel great.
A lot of skinny girls actually like bigger men, as strange as that sounds. So long as you flatter them with your personality, size and looks don't matter (:
I know a lot of big guys, most of them are seriously sweet, but some are seriously full of themselves and *****, and coming from a small girl i'd have to say i prefer the sweeter guys, even if they aren't the best looking.
You lack confidence, but once you get over the fact you probably aren't even that bad looking, you'll gain more, and you'll find a lot more girls like you.
Think of the big celebrities, girls love them because of their confidence, and their confidence makes them hot (:
haha, good luck x
Don't be so down on yourself. Some smaller women like heavier men. I'm small not skinny but small. I weigh like 135 and I'm 5'3" and I have mostly dated heavier men. They're so snuggly. LOL
aww you sound cutteee = ]
i would probably date you if we got to know each other lol
just be nice around them.. make them feel comfortable.
k, im 13 240 pounds 6 feet tall, and im about the same, dude,ur probbaly wondering, why am i gonna take advice, from a chubby 13 year old, well becuase, i have an extremly hot girl friend, and dude how i lose weight is i go to boxing 4-5 times a week, and its a GREAT workout, u lose weight fast, and gain mustle and learn propperly how to fight, its great, and im planning to get down to around 200 pounds but be ur self and keep working man, and just tell ur self, i can do this, and just be ur self, i know its corny, but it works xD, pce dude
-matt
just act confident even if you arent. confidence is key. and for those stretch marks try cocoa butter.( i think thats what its called.) and if u meet a girl and she makes fun of you instead of looking inside you for your personality, she isnt worth it. move on.
hope this helps.
CONFIDENCE! i know a guy who is like 5'5 and weighs at least 300 pounds. he dresses nice though. but he is soo confident and gets all the girls. we call him big earl. the dude has soo much trouble getting up the stairs that when he does he is sweating crazy. he does it better now but its still hard. he cracks jokes and is a cool guy. he has a swagger that says i can get you and you know it. just be confident and act like you dont need em. girls are intrigued by guys like that. dont even look in their direction dont say a word to em. they will start to be curious. and then one day you approach them and spit your game, but most of the time they come to you if done correctly
do more cardio