Do you agree or disagree with male circumcision?!
Question: My husband feels strongly that our son should be circumcisied. I am on the fence as I do not want to inflict pain on our infant yet I have known many boys and men who had to be cut or stretched later and they wished they had been done as infants. I would never mutilate the male member for appearance or want to ruin my sons sex life.. What is most bothersome is that this is my sons body and I feel I have to make a decision as mother but I am so worried he will be angry with us either way for making a decision about his body. It is also hard to find someone to do it. My husband is Jewish so there is a lot of push from his side to go forward even though he is not religious. The thought of a Mohel doing this scares me as I would want pain medicine administered...ahhhhhhhhhhh
Answers: My husband feels strongly that our son should be circumcisied. I am on the fence as I do not want to inflict pain on our infant yet I have known many boys and men who had to be cut or stretched later and they wished they had been done as infants. I would never mutilate the male member for appearance or want to ruin my sons sex life.. What is most bothersome is that this is my sons body and I feel I have to make a decision as mother but I am so worried he will be angry with us either way for making a decision about his body. It is also hard to find someone to do it. My husband is Jewish so there is a lot of push from his side to go forward even though he is not religious. The thought of a Mohel doing this scares me as I would want pain medicine administered...ahhhhhhhhhhh
AGREE, strongly. I grew up with a foreskin. then got it snipped off at 23. much better circumcised. I don't know about your country. but here, in Australia, contrary to popular belief most doctors do still approve and/or sit on the fence for this procedure, not that hard to find someone that does it.
just think, he's a baby, he won't remember it and obviously this is part of your partners culture. they've been doing it for literally thousands of years. mustn't be too much bad about it, look how many jews are in the world.
I disagree with it unless it is for medical purposes. Don't let your husband bully you into this!
Here is a link to another Y/A person's question from a week ago. It gave the perspective of the circumcision from a father and a 14-year-old boy. It might be really helpful for you to read it and get an idea how your son might feel when he's older.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
I have one child that is and one that isn't. I wish that I had never done it to the first one. There is no medical reason to do it. You just have to keep it cleaned. It's no big deal. There is no other reason to do it other than religious. If you want to do it because of religion than do it, but don't let someone else force you to do something that is unnecessary.
Talk to your pediatrician about the pro's and con's.
There's no reason to circumcise today. It's barbaric. Most of the advanced world as realized this, except the US, of course...
Don't do it.
Foreskin is fun!
(Trust me - I still have mine! Then again so does everyone else non-jewish here. (UK))
Your son won't be angry at you and it won't ruin his sex life believe me. He may be angry that you didn't get him circumcised when he starts getting teased at school though. You hear alot of people whining about how their parents mutilated them and wish they had their foreskin but they probably have many other issues thats unrelated to that little bit of skin missing from their penis. As far as sensitivity, there's been studies done and there's no difference. There's alot of anti-circumcision, anti-religion propaganda out there that blows things way out of proportion, don't listen to them. I know it feels terrible to put him through such a painful experience but he won't remember at all.
Since your husband is Jewish and you are not, your son is not Jewish. Circumcision is not necessary for non-Jews and should be avoided.
You are to be commended for not wanting to mutilate your son. Stick to it.
I think we should stay the way we where born, unless there is a medical reason.
Nzbjmom, You need to got back to nursing school, penile cancer does occur in circumcised men, and funny enough, it is usually on the circumcision scar. The American Cancer Society now questions if circumcision does anything in the prevention of penile cancer:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/conten...
Sooner Girl:
So most will have to have it done? How does the rest of the world make it with out having to have it done? Japan for example has about 2% of the population circumcised, they also have the lowest AIDS infection rate of any first world country. Only about 20% of the men in the world are circumcised, and of the 86% of them are Muslim. The US is the only first world country that still does this to the majority of its infant boys.
I disagree with INFANT circumcision, I could care less what an adult does with their penis. I had a son 3 weeks ago, and he was not circumcised. I would much rather be the parent of child that hates being intact, than the parent of a child that hates being circumcised. With the drop in circumcision rates, and making it less the norm, there will probably be more boys unhappy with their parents decision.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19296194/
Do you think newborn boys should be circumcised?
43% Yes
57% No
Oh and since your husband is jewish, here is a link for you:
http://www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org/
Being uncut myself it is all about education to your little dude the women here say it will cause infection but if you teach the little dude to clean it as he would his hair and ears in the bath there is not a problem .It spreads STD'S educate you little dude on risky sexuall behavure even a circumsized dude can get a std if he has risky sex HIV, HERPES ,Clamidya. It causes cervical cancer if this was true can you imagine the cervical cancer that is occuring in europe where most dudes are not circumsized. He should look like daddy that is the worst reason of all he isnt daddy he is an indivdual person. If you teach the kid to be confident and proud of himself he will have no issues with it . I have buddies that are circed and havent been ridiculed or teased about my unit. even with the girlfirends i have had only one has had a issue and she was kicked to the curb my view is she should be going out with me not my uncut unit This is your kid not your families kid your going to have a non medical Mohel come at your kid with a scalple or scissors? to cut on his unit? The Phimosis can be fixed and if you pull back the skin when he is a little dude as he is growing he does it there should not be an issue when i was little that was the first thing my parents taught me pull it back wash it good.
Make a good desison for your little dude
curtdude
Honestly, if you have to do it, getting a mohel who does it the old fashioned way is MUCH better than having a doctor do it. Doctors can take ten minutes or more and rarely use pain meds (if they do, they are not effective enough to numb all the pain, because the must also be safe for use in infants) Mohels on the other hand have the whole thing over with in under a minute, and they don't strap your baby down to a board to do it (make sure to choose one that has the sandek hold the child during the procedure)
That said, I am strongly AGAINST all infant circumcisions. Think of it this way- if your son grows up angry because you cut his penis, there is absolutely no way you can reverse the procedure. If, however, your son grows up and wishes to reclaim his jewish roots or be circed for any reason, it is never to late to get it done! The procedure is actually safer in adults, the operating field is larger, there are few chances to cause permanent harm to the penis itself, an adult gets full anesthetic and complete post-op pain care (your baby may or may not get anesthetic, and definitely no post op pain meds) they even have pills to prevent erections (babys do get erections, but they don't get the pills) Further, an adult is potty trained (open genital wound in diapers = ouch!). Perhaps the most important advantage though is that if an adult chooses to be circumcised, it is thier choice about thier own body! Many intact men on YA are very happy with being intact and do not wish to change. Many cut men are also happy. There is, however, a growing movement of cut men who are very unhappy with this decision being made for them. For them there is no good solution. An intact man, however, will always have the option if he chooses. Indeed, even a large percentage of men who DO choose circumcision later in life say that they are glad that the decision was left up to them and NOT made for them at birth. It is not your decision to make as a parent, as it is NOT your penis.
I have several jewish specific resources as well. First you should know that a jewish baby does not have to be cut. (indeed some circumstances preclude circumcision on the 8th day) It is simpley a jewish father's duty to provide circumcision for his family- that means if your son grows up and chooses to follow judaism, as long as your DH offers to provide him with circumcision, he is within the law.
A great film on the matter is called "Cut" by Eliyahu Ungar Sargon. It is by an orthodox jewish man who questions the jewish custom. In the end he chooses NOT to circumcise, but jews who have screened the film say that which ever way they chose, it made the decision infinitely more meaningful to them.
There is also a yahoo group for jewish people who choose not to cut their sons. I have included links for you to both the film and the group.
Really if your husband is non-practicing there is NO reason to circumcise. There are many, many laws that jewish people are supposed to follow. Does he, for instance, follow Kosher? Will he expect his son to? Some jewish denominations (such as reform) have done away with kosher dietary laws because they believe they were once nessecary, but are not anymore. Circumcision is another practice that should now be abandoned- how is it that we must no longer sacrafice sheep and doves, but we must still sacrafice a piece of our own sons genitals?
Do not allow your husband to force this on your son. If your son grows up and chooses circumcision, it will be his choice. It is simpley not your choice to make for him. As for others "needing" to be stretched or cut later, statistics show that about 2 in 1,000 men will "need" a circ, thats 998 people who didn't. You just don't hear about them, because they are fine with thier foreskins. Also, in the past, doctors were not as familiar with foreskin care (some older docs still aren't) and circs are often reccomended for bogus reasons (for instance, foreskins do NOT retract in children, so a child below the age of puberty simply can not have phimosis, although it is often diagnosed). Having to take antibiotics for an infection or do a little stretching is NOT a bad thing. How many times have you had to take meds for a yeast infection for instance? And many, many women need to be "stretched" when they begin menstruation, yet we do not routinely break the hymens of young girls. If I told you that cutting off your labia would prevent infections, would you do that, or would you prefer to take the pills? For some conditions, surgery simply does not make sense. Circumcision is a surgery looking for a cure.
Leave your little boy intact, he'll be glad for it later. -Neb
ETA- I think it is worth noting, since you are concerned about pain, that in a study on hospital based circumcisions they found that the infants given no pain meds where in so much agony that they actually ended the study early rather than subject more babies to it.
Also, to those who say they do not remember it, first, as Geoff has pointed out, remember it or not, they will KNOW that they are missing somthing. Also, a follow up study showed that infants who had been circumcised showed a much greater pain response to vaccination 6 MONTHS after the procedure- so they do remember the pain. -Neb
I am circumcised; grew up in a mostly circumcised world and have hated it most of my life. I had a couple of friends who were intact and saw one of them masturbating at 12 years old. He could stroke the entire length of his penis using the gliding action of his foreskin, while I only had a little movable skin. I realised a little of what I was missing out on and felt real resentment that has never gone away. I researched the topic as much as I could, trying to convince myself that I was better off but came to the opposite conclusion. I had to seek counseling for this but can never really make the hurt go away. I believe a small proportion of males on both sides of the fence feel this way. The difference is that intact males can change whereas I am stuck feeling mutilated the rest of my life. The fact that there now plenty of intact boys about, even in the USA, means that there is a stronger chance he will come to resent being cut.
I think the fact that there won't be any pain relief is huge. Infants do feel pain and the foreskin has to be ripped away from the glans to which it is fused like a finger to a fingernail before it can be sliced off. Then every time he pees it will sting like fury. There is also a danger that the raw edges of foreskin will fuse with the raw glans during healing, causing skin bridges or tags. At birth there is no cavity for germs and dirt to collect in until it separates naturally later. You just wash the outside of a natural infant penis, despite what some ignorant doctors may say. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...
Circumcision is the amputation of the foreskin, not extra skin but an integral part of the penis; measuring 15 square inches in an adult and accounting for over half the penile skin, lots of specialised nerve endings and the most sensitive parts of the penis.
Not one medical organisation in the world recommends routine infant circumcision anymore but the US is the last western nation still doing this to about 50% of its newborn males. They still don't generally use anaesthetic either. It's child abuse, pure and simple.
The claimed benefits of circumcision are a beat up (based on flawed studies) and don't really exist but the risks outweigh all the claims made by the pro-circumcision camp. One by one the claims are disproved but the pro-cutting zealots come up with more and keep quoting the old ones despite the evidence against them. For example you have more chance of dying from a circumcision than from penile cancer. The rate of penile cancer is higher in the largely-circumcised USA than in European countries where less than 1% of the male population is circumcised.
Using surgery to mutilate the genitals instead of washing in a modern western society makes no sense. Normal intact male genitals are, if anything, easier to wash than female ones and the same substance, smegma collects in the genital folds of both sexes.
Disagree when it's done on infants. It's very traumatic for a baby and proper anaesthesia isn't used in most cases. They also can't tell how big it will grow and sometimes remove too much skin. And you don't have consent from the child, many men regret it being done to them, check out this link: http://www.norm.org
It can be done at any age, and never undone.
Judaism goes through the maternal line so only the sons of Jewish mothers need to be circumcised. When your husband chose to marry you, presumably a non-Jew, he must have known that his children would not technically be "Jewish" and there is no requirement for circumcision. If your son does decide later on to convert to Judaism then he can get circumcised if he wants. I know family pressure can be persuasive, but as your mother it's your job to protect your son, and his penis. It's not their penis.
The benefits are overstated, stuff like penile cancer is ridiculous you shouldn't be thinking about that because it only occurs in older men; well before it's even an issue your son will be able to make his own decision regarding if he would like to lose his foreskin for the possible reduction in getting a very rare cancer.
My boyfriend is uncircumcised like most men worldwide and has never had an issue. He washes and uses condoms which helps - but circumcised men need to wash and use condoms too! The foreskin gives him a lot of pleasure and I don't find it unattractive - any girl who did would be shallow and not the sort of girl you would want your son to hang around with!
A couple of other points - not circumcising isn't really making a decision. It's more leaving things in the default situation, the way he was made and every male was made. It's a compromise - not a "you win" type of situation. Yes, some men regret they weren't circumcised (although more regret than they were) but those who weren't circumcised can go and get it done, with consent and pain relief, but those who were circumcised are stuck.
Also it's a big misconception that a foreskin requires extra cleaning and you have to clean under it on babies, not true, it's attached to the glans so no germs can get in and you can't and shouldn't pull it back to clean. It will detach at any point before puberty at which point they can learn to clean under it.
I disagree with it as it is an unnecessary, painful, and irreversible procedure. However, if the male has actual medical problems with his foreskin, then circumcizion is acceptable but only as a last resort.
Dear Morgan,
Circumcision is a permanent and irreversible surgery that will reduce the size and erogenous sensation of your son