Why is any intimacy between men seen as something bad?!


Question: By this I mean, talking, sharing ( space, clean towels, water)being open, being supportive, any physical contact - none of these are inevitably going to lead to sex, but many men and women see men spending time together as threatening wheras it can be done and has been done in the UK ( and even in the USA) in recent times. What has happened?


Answers: By this I mean, talking, sharing ( space, clean towels, water)being open, being supportive, any physical contact - none of these are inevitably going to lead to sex, but many men and women see men spending time together as threatening wheras it can be done and has been done in the UK ( and even in the USA) in recent times. What has happened?

People are so afraid of being labeled that intimacy is falling apart. Guys used to have really close guy friends and it meant nothing. You still see this closeness in many "third-world" countries..they don't feel they need to prove anything and are close with other men, and it isn't anything strange to them.

My husband, who is Tunisian: when he goes home to visit, the guys kiss each other's cheek in greeting and sometimes even hold hands and hug, yet they are very masculine otherwise. It is a cultural thing.

I dont think what you claim is true. no one frowns on male bonding or social intimacy.

god knows I have a good mate and when he falls out with his latest girl friend we go away together [with my wife's blessing] but we are like two brothers rather than two separate men together and we have a good time and either of us would be horrified if their was any suggestion of any thing sexual

i dont thats tru

it is our homophobic society that says that it is not alright to do so. in china, it isn't uncommon for two men to walk down the street together holding hands, just friends. but society says that it is not alright, something that should really change, because men need close relationships with their fellow men, it is very important.

Basically, there's a VERY fine line between "male bonding" and "being too close".
As a female, I can say that things such as sharing towels, being supportive, hugging, are typically threatening as it's something I experience with MY female friends, and destroys my idea of the typical man. The fact that I immediately associated those with my friends means that there is a high chance of those actions being linked to homosexuality.
Men are typically thought of to have higher emotional barriers, and aren't supposed to need to turn to their own friends for support (i don't believe in this, by the way) whereas women do. After all, the women are usually crying about the men.
Male bonding, such as going out for a laugh or BRIEFLY hugging (a quick tap on the back more like) is very attractive, but there is a fine line.
I think.
Any action done by a parter to ANYONE is threatening to a relationship.

Homophobic culture happened. Guys are too afraid of being labled gay to show any attatchment to each other. I think it gets a little better as guys get older(at least better than in Highschool).
I definately have guy friends that are not afraid to give me a hug in public or lean on my shoulder..But even that can get some stares if you are in the wrong place.
I honestly think this culture creates a huge number of douche bags who basically grow up with no true friends.

I blame the media sensationalising expressive behaviour and homophobia.
Also the insecurity of some women about 'their' men having more to them than bank book status, having a portion of life which the woman cannot dominate.
Everything we do is now not private, so intimacy is seen and seen means that it is no longer intimate.
Media
Bored women
consumer society

We have become a society I think probably the world over of homo phoebes. We have become afraid of appearing gay and that I believe probably comes from so much acceptance of homosexuality. I for one am 95 % gay and still see that as a sin against God's will for our lives and still welcome the acceptance because I feel that if people give themselves a chance to better understand homosexuality then they will be less judgemental and hateful. However it is that acceptance in my opinion that has brought us to fear the closeness and non sexual intimacy that we so desperately need. I have a friend who does understand and does allow that closeness and non sexual intimacy so I am blessed by that but I am well aware of the shortage of men in the world who are willing to be close and intimate. I believe if boundaries are erected and enforced then men can be close and nonsexually intimate

It's probably a combination of fear about what peope will think of you if you break the "normal" boundaries of behaviour and bad religion.
People are meant to relate socially to one another. In some societies the way this is done is completely different to others. What is normal for some might be regarded as sexual for others. You just have to sense the norms of the people you're with & if they give any sense of not being comfortable, apologise & don't go down that route any further.
If you're worried about homosexual behaviour, about 1 in 3 men go through a homosexual phase in growing up. Most come out the other side as heterosexual & don't revert. Some revert temporarily at different times in life, e.g. a crisis, but normally they would be hetero, & about 1 in 10 remain homosexual (though often that part of their sexuality remains celibate) throughout life. How much guys reveal their "other" sexualty depends on the norms of your society & what is considered acceptable. A few are so scared of their sexuality they overcompensate by condemning people who do what they do or fantasise about in secret.
As for the stuff about sharing towels, that's just basic hygiene. It's not likely you'll pick up any skin infection from sharing a dirty towel, but who wants to share a used towel anyway?
If you have a strong friendship with someone, you'll feel comfy enjoying one another's company anyway & if one of you does something the other's not comfy with it's a mark of good friendship that you can tell one another without it disrupting the friendship. If it leads to a bit of sexual play & you're both happy with it then it's fine. If you're not both happy & comfy with it you'll have stopped it long before.

Who says that this has happened?





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories